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Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“Throughout my career, I've always portrayed characters that were humorous, but also weren't afraid to speak their minds, especially when it came to racy or controversial topics. I think this struck a chord with the LGBT community. We both also share a very strong love for animals. When you combine the two, it's a very strong match.”

Thinking Mind Two Character Speak Strong Community Animal Careers Share Humorous Lgbt Very Strong Topics Chords Controversial Strong Love Lgbt Community Controversial Topics

Author:Betty White

“You only have to solve two problems when going to the moon: first, how to get there; and second, how to get back. The key is don't leave until you have solved both problems.”

Inspirational Firsts Two Problem Funny Success Space Keys Moon Humorous Entrepreneur Solve Get Back Problems And Solutions

Author:Jim Rohn

“The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.”

Two Hands Strong Work Lord Humorous Farmers Recreation Strong Hands

Author:Joseph Heller

“We all operate in two contrasting modes, which might be called open and closed. The open mode is more relaxed, more receptive, more exploratory, more democratic, more playful and more humorous. The closed mode is the tighter, more rigid, more hierarchical, more tunnel-visioned. Most people, unfortunately spend most of their time in the closed mode.”

People Two Might Creativity Humorous Democratic Openness Relaxed Tunnels Open Minded Receptive Creativity And Innovation

Author:John Cleese

“He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.”

Thinking Years Has Beens Two Humor Funny Three Humorous Doctors Medicine Patient Funeral

Book:The Gilded Age: A Tale of To-day

Source: The Gilded Age: A Tale of To-day

“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”

Two Humor Truth Funny Marriage Comedy Wife Seeing Humorous My Wife Infidelity Hilarious Psychiatrist Plumber Bartender Bartending Seeing The Truth

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not known, however, why this decision has not been carried out.”

Should Years Two States Funny America Language Decision United Known United States Humorous Hundred Years Ago Decided

Author:George Mikes

“Bargaining is a repulsive habit; compromise is one of the highest human virtues - the difference between the two being that the first is practised on the Continent, the latter in Great Britain.”

Firsts Humans Two Funny Differences Virtue Habit Highest Humorous Compromise Britain Latter Continents Negotiation Great Britain Bargaining

Book:How to be a Brit: The Classic Bestselling Guide

Source: How to be a Brit: The Classic Bestselling Guide

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.”

Book:Bite-Size Einstein: Quotations on Just About Everything from the Greatest Mind of the Twentieth Century

Source: Bite-Size Einstein: Quotations on Just About Everything from the Greatest Mind of the Twentieth Century

“Each American embassy comes with two permanent features - a giant anti-American demonstration and a giant line for American visas. Most demonstrators spend half their time burning Old Glory and the other half waiting for green cards.”

Two Funny America Waiting Lines Half Glory Humorous Green Cards Burning Permanent Features Giants Demonstration Other Half Visa Embassy Anti-american Green Card Old Glory

Book:Holidays in Hell

Source: Holidays in Hell