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Santa Claus Quotes

Browse 239 quotes about Santa Claus.

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Santa Claus Quotes

“It would take more than long-stemmed roses to change my view that you're a despicable cowardy custard and a disgrace to a proud family. Your ancestors fought in the Crusades and were often mentioned in despatches, and you cringe like a salted snail at the thought of appearing as Santa Claus before an audience of charming children who wouldn't hurt a fly. It's enough to make an aunt turn her face to the wall and give up the struggle.”

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Book:The Theatre Omnibus
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“My mouth gaped and I think I might have whimpered. The Norns had obliterated him completely—a creature they’d known for centuries—because of me. It was like watching Rudolph get shot by Santa Claus.”

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Book:The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted
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“It is curious that people tend to regard government as a quasi-divine, selfless, Santa Claus organization. Government was constructed neither for ability nor for the exercise of loving care; government was built for the use of force and for necessarily demagogic appeals for votes. If individuals do not know their own interests in many cases, they are free to turn to private experts for guidance. It is absurd to say that they will be served better by a coercive, demagogic apparatus.”

PeopleIfsKnowsUseGovernmentCareTurnsIndividualForceInterestAbilityCasesDivineExerciseBuiltVoteOrganizationRegardAbsurdCuriousAppealsGuidanceExpertsSelflessSantaSanta ClausUse Of Force
Book:Man, Economy, and State with Power and Market, Scholar's Edition
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“Gradually the awful truth dawns on you: that Santa Claus was just the tip of the iceberg - that your future will not be the rollercoaster ride you'd imagined, that the world occupied by your parents, the world of washing the dishes, going to the dentist, weekend trips to the DIY superstore to buy floor tiles, is actually largely what people mean when they speak of 'life'.”

PeopleWorldLifeMeanSpeakParentAwfulDawnWeekendDishesYour FutureSantaWashingSanta ClausDentistIcebergTilesDiyRollercoasterTip Of The Iceberg
Author:Paul Murray
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“Being a lifetime wife and mother has afforded me the luxury of having multiple careers: I've been a teacher. A chauffeur. A chef. An interior decorator. A landscape architect, as well as a gardener. I’ve been a painter. A personal shopper. An accountant and a banker. I’ve been a beautician. Santa Claus. The Tooth Fairy. A movie reviewer. A nurse. A psychologist. A negotiator. An I have a Ph. D in How to Pretend Like You Don’t Mind.”

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Author:Terry McMillan
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“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”

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Author:George Carlin
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“Children are grateful when Santa Claus puts in their stockings gifts of toys or sweets. Could I not be grateful to Santa Claus when he put in my stockings the gift of two miraculous legs? We thank people for birthday presents of cigars and slippers. Can I thank no one for the birthday present of birth?”

PeopleChildrenTwoSweetBirthGratefulLegsToysBe GratefulMiraculousSantaCigarSanta ClausSlippersStockings
Book:The Essential Gilbert K. Chesterton
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“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”

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Author:Johnny Carson
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“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”

KidsFunnyFunNotesCleverChristmasBirthdayHolidayToysSantaMerrySanta ClausBatteriesInspirational ChristmasMerry ChristmasChristmas HolidayFunny ChristmasXmasChristmas ThoughtsChristmas GiftBest ChristmasChristmas WishesChristmas LoveFestiveMerry Christmas InspirationalChristmas MagicChristmas MessageShort ChristmasReligious ChristmasChristmas Card GreetingsChristmas Holiday GreetingsFunny Christmas CardFunny Merry ChristmasMerry Christmas WishesCharity At ChristmasChristmas GivingChristmas CheerHoliday GivingInspirational HolidayHappy HolidaysHumorous ChristmasChristmas ShoppingGreat ChristmasReligious HolidayWitty ChristmasFamily ChristmasMerry Xmas FunnyAdvent ChristmasHoliday ThoughtsWhite Christmas
Author:Bernard Manning
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“I hear that in many places something has happened to Christmas; that it is changing from a time of merriment and carefree gaiety to a holiday which is filled with tedium; that many people dread the day and the obligation to give Christmas presents is a nightmare to weary, bored souls; that the children of enlightened parents no longer believe in Santa Claus; that all in all, the effort to be happy and have pleasure makes many honest hearts grow dark with despair instead of beaming with good will and cheerfulness.”

PeopleGivingBelieveHeartChildrenSoulGrowsParentDarkPleasureEffortHappenedHonestDespairFilledObligationChristmasBoredHolidayEnlightenedNightmareDreadWearySantaGood WillCheerfulnessSanta ClausChristmas HolidayCarefreeXmasChristmas ThoughtsTediumMerrimentGaietyChristmas PresentBelieve In Santa
Author:Julia Peterkin
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“The kindly God who lovingly fashioned each and every one of us and sprinkled the sky with shining stars for our delight - that God is, like Santa Claus, a myth of childhood, not anything [that] a sane, undeluded adult could literally believe in. That God must either be turned into a symbol for something less concrete or abandoned altogether.”

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Book:Darwin's Dangerous Idea: Evolution and the Meaning of Life
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“If somebody harbours delusions, I think that should disqualify them from office, regardless whether the delusions are religious. Letting someone who thinks the god Jehovah will bail him out serve in public office is like letting a man who believes in Santa Claus run a Toys 'R Us. The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie - deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.”

IfsThinkingMenShouldBelieveRunningLyingReligionBeliefReligiousOpinionEnemyComfortTruth IsOfficeMythDelusionToysDeliberatePersistentSantaDiscomfortSanta ClausJehovahPersuasivePublic OfficeBailHarbourBelieve In Santa
Author:John F. Kennedy
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“He was a parade all by himself, a burst of dazzle and jingle, Santa Claus drinking his whiskey straight and groaning with a bellyache... Babe Ruth made the music that his joyous years danced to in a continuous party... What Babe Ruth is comes down, one generation handing it down to the next, as a nation heirloom.”

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Author:Jimmy Cannon
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“How is Christmas regarded today? The legend of Santa Claus, the Christmas tree, the decorations of tinsel and mistletoe, and the giving of gifts all express to us the spirit of the day we celebrate; but the true spirit of Christmas lies much deeper than these. It is found in the life of the Savior, in the principles He taught, in His atoning sacrifice-which become our great heritage.”

GivingTodaySpiritLyingFoundPrinciplesSacrificeTreeTaughtDeeperCelebrateSaviorHeritageLegendsSantaSanta ClausDecorationChristmas SpiritChristmas TreeTinselMistletoeTrue Spirit Of Christmas
Author:Howard W. Hunter
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“Maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buying magazines, joining clubs, and doing therapy and watching movies with hit pop songs played over love montages all in a pathetic attempt to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught in the chimney.”

WholeSongChildhoodCaughtClubsPopsMythVersionsMagazinesTherapyBuyingFedsOur LoveSantaPatheticJoiningSanta ClausChimneysPop Song
Author:Meg Ryan
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“What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they started pumping this bullshit into my head. I believed in Santa Claus and the Fairy Godmother, of course I believed in a virgin birth, and a guy lived in a whale, and a woman came from a rib. But then something happened that made me doubt all of it: I graduated sixth grade!”

MeanMadeGuyThreeCoursesDoubtHappenedBirthFairyGradesBullshitVirginsSantaWhalesSanta ClausRibsDefenselessSixth GradeAgainst ReligionGodmotherFairy GodmotherVirgin Birth
Author:Bill Maher
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