“I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.” KnowsKnow HowWifeOne ThingBedYeahMy Wife Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“It's fun when the writers start writing jokes to you, but also it's fun when the writers will come to you and say 'Hey, listen, we're working on this story and we need to know if you speak any foreign languages.' And I said 'No, I don't. I speak a little Spanish, but I can learn a foreign language.' And they go 'Okay, do you think you can learn Portuguese?' And I go 'Yeah, whatever it takes. If it's funny, I'll do it.' So of course I start looking online and learning Portuguese, and as it turns out, I get the script and it's now Serbian.” IfsThinkingKnowsNeedsWritingLittlesSaidI CanStoriesTurnsCoursesSpeakLanguageFunJokesOkayYeahScriptsHeyOnlineWhatever It TakesForeign LanguagePortuguese Author:David Alan Basche
“I remember when I was a kid, when I just used to love listening to something again and again and over and over. You know, everybody else got sick of it, but I loved that discovery of music and what it did to my world, to my imagination. And so I started really considering, "Yeah, I've got to do more," for kids, particularly.” KnowsWorldKidsRememberUsedImaginationListeningDiscoverySickYeahOver YouAgain And AgainConsideringRemember WhenMy ImaginationUsed To Love Author:Cat Stevens
“I don't know what would be antithetical to do on the other side, maybe a Tyler Perry movie or something. No, there are very few comedies that live in between that. Or you're doing some kid thing like a Jim Carrey movie with animated something that's like that. Yeah, I've wanted to do them. I like doing them. I did Talk to Me. That was pretty much a comedy.” KnowsWould BeKidsWantedSidesComedyYeahAnimatedTalk To Me Author:Don Cheadle
“I think Julianne Moore is very, very good. I've worked with her. We did Surviving Picasso. I remember one scene we did together. She had to have a nervous, a mental, breakdown in this one scene. I didn't have many lines. I just had to make sure I knew I came in on cue all right. And I was just watching her walking though the rehearsal. I thought I know what she's doing, "This is going to be terrific." So they said, "Are you ready" and she said, "Yeah," "Ok, roll the camera." And all in one take.” ThinkingKnowsSaidTogetherRememberLinesReadyWalkingSceneCamerasYeahVery GoodNervousThey SaidTerrificSurvivingRehearsalBreakdownMental Breakdown Author:Anthony Hopkins
“The only person that seen something in me was Punch, and probably Ab-Soul. Ab-Soul and Punch was the two niggas that was like "Yeah, Q gon be one of them niggas. Watch." I don't know how they knew but they knew.” KnowsPersonsTwoSoulWatchesKnow HowYeah Author:Schoolboy Q
“I like when they say a movie is inspired by a true story. That's kind of silly. "Hey, Mitch, did you hear that story about that lady who drove her car into the lake with her kids and they all drowned?" "Yeah, I did, and you know what - that inspires me to write a movie about a gorilla!"” KnowsWritingKindStoriesHumorKidsFunnyCarInspireYeahInspiredSillyHeyLakesTrue StoryGorillas Author:Mitch Hedberg
“You know when you go into a restaurant, and it gets busy and they start a waiting list, and they start calling out names, "DuFresnes, party of two." They say again, "DuFresnes, party of two." But then if no one answers, they'll just go to the next name, "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the DuFresnes? No one seems to care. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! And they're hungry! That's a double whammy! "Bush, search party of three!" You can eat once you find the DuFresnes!” PeopleIfsKnowsTwoHumorSeemsCareFunnyThreeNextNamesWaitingAnswersPartyHappenedMissingCallingYeahBusyListsHungryRestaurants Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I do get labeled as a guitar band, but the only reason is that's the instrument I know how to play. The guitar is serving the song I'm writing. But I'm learning how to play keyboard better now so that'll start serving the song as well; it'll be another flavor. I'm not going to switch it up with big, fat drum machine beats and real swoopy synths, but yeah...” KnowsWritingWellsRealReasonPlayBigsSongKnow HowBandBeatsMachinesYeahInstrumentsGuitarFatsServingFlavorKeyboardsBetter Now Author:Mac DeMarco
“Yeah, I love living in New York, man, and people who live in New York, we wear that fact like a badge right on our sleeve because we know that fact impresses everybody! I was in Vietnam. So what? I live in New York!” PeopleKnowsMenFactsHumorFunnyNew YorkYeahVietnamImpressSleevesBadges Author:Denis Leary
“You're talking to a modern, nice, affable German person and they're saying to you something like 'You know, vell, it's a critical time now for Germany within Europe, also globally, economically ve are pretty good, ve have been better. But ve are very vibrant in the theater and arts...' and all the time you'll be listening to this, you're thinking Mmm, yeah, mmm... Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler.” ThinkingKnowsPersonsHas BeensArtHumorFunnyTalkingNiceModernLike YouListeningEuropeTheaterYeahCriticalGermanyAffable Author:Dylan Moran
“I don't know about you, but when they first introduced bottled water, I thought it was so funny, I was like "Bottled water! Haha, they're selling bottled water! ... I guess I'll try it. Ah, this is good, this is more watery than water. Yeah, this has got a water kick to it."” KnowsTryingFirstsHumorFunnyWaterYeahSellingKicksHahaBottled Water Author:Jim Gaffigan
“There's this whole post-modern, nuevo beatnik, retro-bohemian thing going on, you know what I mean? You walk into some coffee shops, and it feels like you're an ex-patriot in Paris in the 20s. You're like, 'Hey, isn't that a young Ernest Hemingway over there? Yeah, I think it is! Hey, let's go have a look and see what he's writing... It's a Gap application.'” ThinkingKnowsFeelsWritingLooksMeanWholeHumorFunnyYoungWalksModernLike YouYeahCoffeeHeyPostsParisShopsGapsApplicationPatriotExesBohemianCoffee ShopRetroBeatnik Author:Marc Maron
“I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."” KnowsFeelsLooksSaidHumorFunnyPerfectMorningDoctorsMirrorsYeahGet UpThrowingEvery MorningEyesightVomitingThrowing UpUgly Face Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.” IfsKnowsHumorFunnyNextBoysPlansWeekRocksYeahIndianIslandsRock N RollLiving OnTuesdayRehabThursdayAccording To Plan Author:Noel Fielding
“I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, "Yeah, whatever." And it was him, but I even went to him, "That's not even a good Irish accent!"” KnowsHumorFunnyNamesNumbersKnow HowYeahIdiotMatesAccentsIrish Accent Author:Noel Fielding
“I was talking to my friend and he said his girlfriend was mad at him. I said, "What happened?" He goes: "Well, I guess I, uh... I guess I said something, and, uh... and then she got her feelings hurt." That's a weird way to phrase it: "She got her feelings hurt. I said something, and then she..." Could you more remove yourself from responsibility? "She got her feelings hurt." It's like saying, "Yeah, I shot this guy in the face, and then I guess he got himself murdered. I don't know what happened. He leaned into it."” KnowsWayWellsSaidFeelingsFunnyFacesGuyHurtResponsibilityTalkingComedyHappenedShotsMy FriendsYeahMadPhrasesGirlfriendRemoveThis GuyHurt FeelingsMad At Him Author:Louis C. K.
“I was watching Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? And I was thinking, "Why don't they just call that the female seahorse?" You know it's just some stubborn scientist. "Yeah, that one there's the male seahorse." And his assistant's like, "Uh, Bill, that one's having a baby." ... "The male has the baby. You're fired."” ThinkingKnowsFunnyAnimalComedyPlanetsBabyFemaleScientistYeahBillsMalesStubbornAssistantsDid You KnowHaving A Baby Author:Jim Gaffigan
“The arresting officer, who I had literally known, all my life. You know what I mean? This guy lived four doors down the street me, in a town of less than four hundred people. *We've met.* Now, he takes me to jail, and he asks me if I have any aliases. And I was just being a smartass, and I said, "Yeah. They call me, "Tater Salad!" Seventeen years later, I'm handcuffed on a bench in New York with blood coming out of my nose, and this cop goes, "Are you Ron 'Tater Salad' White?"” PeopleIfsKnowsYearsMeanSaidFunnyGuyAsksWhiteKnownComedyFourDoorsBloodMetsTownsYeahCome UpAsk MeNosesStationsCall MeOfficersComing OutCopJust BeingThis GuySaladBenchesSeventeenArrestingSmartassAliases Author:Ron White
“There are many different types of people that end up coming to me and saying 'Yeah I want to cook.' Some of them successful, some not. There's no one formula, but if I get someone coming through the backdoor who knows that they want to get into the cooking field, they feel this inside-out love for it, this attraction to it, that person is an awful lot easier to work with.” PeopleIfsKnowsWantFeelsPersonsDifferentEndsSuccessfulFieldsTypeEasierYeahCookingAttractionAwfulCooksFormulasBackdoor Author:Paul Rankin
“Yeah, I know my way around some guns, which is weird because I have no time for them. I don't like them at all but I can take apart guns and put them back together and stuff, so I didn't have to go to the range. I don't think I will ever to go 'the range' again! I've done enough of that.” ThinkingKnowsWayI CanDoneEnoughTogetherStuffGunYeahMy WayRangeBack Together Author:Colin Farrell
“Where possible, if there's something that is highly likely to kill you, the studios won't insure us to do [the stunts]. But where we are insurable, Len likes to make us do that. He likes to see actors' faces and have everybody know that that is them doing it. Yeah, I definitely got some bruises on this one.” IfsKnowsFacesActorsYeahStudiosLikesBruises Author:Kate Beckinsale
“Theres a lot of churches that hide their dirty laundry under the rug, and I know about that from being in the church 27 years. Oh, yeah.” KnowsYearsChurchYeahDirtyLaundryDirty Laundry Author:Al Green
“I am a fan of all of the same shows that David just listed. And then I also have a weird obsession with Court TV, which is now truTV - I don't know if you know that. Yeah they changed names. I don't know why they did that but they did. It was a little disconcerting to me at first. But I've gotten over it.” IfsKnowsFirstsLittlesShowsNamesFansChangedTvsYeahCourtObsessionOver It Author:Debra Messing
“Yeah, I know I should be fighting for gay rights, but who wants to join the army or get married anyway?” KnowsWantShouldFightingRightsGayMarriedArmyYeahGay RightsJoining The Army Author:John Waters
“There's nothing more exciting than to have a project that you like, that you're proud of, and you're waiting for that validation for the world to see it and say, "Yeah! You know what? That was pretty damn funny!"” KnowsWorldWaitingProudProjectsExcitingYeahDamnValidation Author:Will Packer
“Don't accept the excuse of complexity. A lot of people will tell you, this is too challenging, this is too complicated, yeah well I know other people simplify but that's not for me, this is a complicated business. They're wrong. You can change the world in 140 characters.” PeopleKnowsWorldWellsCharacterChallengesAcceptingYeahExcuseComplicatedComplexityChanging The WorldSimplify140 Character Author:Keith Rabois
“Yeah, it's not that I wanted to do a painting, I wanted to do writing like that. What jolted me about Jasper Johns was how important it is to start with a convention, how important it is to start with what everybody knows and everybody takes for granted, whether it's a number, an alphabet letter, a set of alphabet letters, a target.” KnowsWritingImportantWantedNumbersPaintingLettersYeahGrantedTargetConventionsAlphabet Author:Vito Acconci
“Yeah, it's legal in the United States. It's part of our Constitution. You know, the right to bear arms is because that's the last form of defense against tyranny. Not to hunt. It's to protect yourself from the police.” KnowsStatesLastsFormUnitedUnited StatesArmsBearsProtectConstitutionPoliceYeahDefenseTyrannyHuntsRight To Bear ArmsProtect Yourself Author:Ice T
“I'm a Holy Spirit maniac, yeah. When I say maniac, to me, a maniac is a person that goes around telling you what you should believe. You know, you have to believe what I believe, and I don't believe that.” KnowsShouldBelievePersonsSpiritI BelieveHolyYeahDon't BelieveHoly SpiritManiacs Author:Sinead O'Connor
“When it comes to songs and music, yeah, people love to sing and dance and play music and tunes, and that stream of consciousness that exists in music, nobody knows where that comes from.” PeopleKnowsPlaySongConsciousnessYeahStreamsTunesNobody KnowsStream Of Consciousness Author:Wynton Marsalis
“Every band should study Queen at Live Aid. If you really feel like that barrier is gone, you become Freddie Mercury. I consider him the greatest frontman of all time. Like, it's funny? You'd imagine that Freddie was more than human, but... You know how he controlled Wembley Stadium at Live Aid in 1985? He stood up there and did his vocal warm ups with the audience. Something that intimate, where they realize, 'Oh yeah, he's just a f***ing dude.'” IfsKnowsFeelsShouldHumansRealizingAudienceKnow HowGoneStudyImagineBandYeahWarmAidsAll TimeQueensIntimateBarriersControlledImagine ThatVocalStadiumsStood UpMercury Author:Dave Grohl
“If you believe in God you get to the point where (you feel) "Yeah, you know what, God forgave my sins but I still have to forgive myself."” IfsKnowsFeelsBelieveStillsSinYeahForgivingBelieve In GodIf You Believe Author:Kevin Sorbo
“We didn't push it down people's throats...One turned into three in a short period of time. I built the first one and...one day someone walked in and said "You know, I really like the design on this. Who built that?" I said "I did." He goes "Well, would you be interested in building me one?" I went "Yeah, I'll do that."” PeopleKnowsFirstsWellsSaidThreeDesignBuildingPeriodsOne DayBuiltYeahThroat Author:Drew Waters
“I found myself with a wife and kids, and some of my friends weren't around as much. They weren't calling as much, and I didn't quite know what it was. Someone said, "Yeah, I recently lost one of my closest friends. He got his finger stuck in a wedding ring." And I thought, "Oh, that's what's happening! We're all going off and making our own families."” KnowsSaidKidsFoundLostWifeCallingHappeningsMy FriendsYeahFingersRingsStuckClosestClosest FriendsLost OnesWedding Ring Author:Scott Foley
“Yeah, um, I do twitter because I want people to, you know, get to know me, my fans, or my fans to get to know me, you know, just see what type of person I am. You know, hopefully be more on an intimate level with me as opposed to a distant level.” PeopleKnowsWantPersonsLevelsFansTypeYeahHopefullyIntimateKnow MeGet To Know Me Author:Serena Williams
“Yeah, my role is gonna be a character by the name of Yondu. And there's gonna be more of Yondu. Yondu is gonna be even more handsome. Perhaps maybe Yondu will add some more bling to his teeth and wear some more jewelry. I don't know. It's gonna be a lot of fun. I've got my fingers crossed that we'll flush out the character even more.” KnowsCharacterNamesFunRolesYeahAddFingersTeethHandsomeJewelryBlingFingers Crossed Author:Michael Rooker
“These commercials, I directed them all from inside the tracking vehicle, so I was traveling about 85mph most of the time, so there wasn't really anyone sitting beside me other than the driver. But, you know, yeah the agency is there and VW is there, which is- they're paying for it all and also because the agency created the boards, they want to make sure that you're not going off the rails in executing it. And also they can help, because they- it's a very different thing to cinema.” KnowsWantDifferentHelpingSittingYeahCinemaBoardsAgencyDifferent ThingsDriversVehicleRailTrackingExecuting Author:Paul W. S. Anderson
“What keeps me motivated is that I'm going to do a bunch of projects with dancers, and the people who compel me and make me love dance again are the ones I want to hire because they'll do that for others who are watching the thing. So yeah, it is difficult to crush dream sometimes, but they're all professional and they know what the deal is.” PeopleKnowsWantSometimesDreamDifficultDealsProjectsYeahBunchCrushDancerMotivatedDance Love Author:Jon M. Chu
“If I didn't have [a] wife, maybe I can say, 'Yeah, I'm disappointed I'm not maybe good looking.' ... I don't know about China, but in Russia, I still look good.” IfsKnowsLooksStillsI CanWifeYeahChinaBe GoodRussiaDisappointedLooking Good Author:Nikolay Davydenko
“Yeah, I think that I have like, faltered, you know, as a human. My message isn’t perfectly defined. I have, as a human being, fallen to peer pressure.” ThinkingKnowsHumansHuman BeingsMessagesPressureYeahDefinedFallenPeersPeer Pressure Author:Kanye West
“There's a true schizophrenia where if you say to voters, you know, do you think the federal government spends too much money and they should spend less, they say yeah, absolutely. Then you name specific things, like Pell grants for students and they say, no, not that. How 'bout NIH, medical research funding? Nah, you really shouldn't cut that. And pretty soon you've proved that what the American public is against is arithmetic.” IfsThinkingKnowsShouldGovernmentNamesToo MuchCuttingStudentsResearchYeahMedicalGrantsVotersFederal GovernmentFundingSchizophreniaArithmeticMedical ResearchPell Grants Author:Bill Gates
“I bring myself innately to it, yeah. I bring those details as much as I - what I don't obsess over is, there are certain ways I might've pushed it even a little more. For example, [to Warren] your accent. I know Warner Bros. at one point came in. I don't know, until you came to set, I know I wore that long tartan skirt and the ruffled blouse for that.” KnowsWayLittlesLongMightCertainExampleYeahDetailsAccentsSkirtsBrosBlousesWarner BrosTartan Author:Vera Farmiga
“I used to say things like, 'My name's not Al (Bundy), you know?' Not to the press, but to fans. 'My name is actually Ed.' I'd find myself saying that, and I'd think, 'Who do you think they think you are? They only know you from that!' And finally I just got...I don't know, I guess a switch went on for me, and I realized, 'This was the greatest job that you've ever had in your life. Why are you acting like an asshole?' So from that minute on, I kind of...well, I hate the word 'embraced,' but I just kind of went, 'Yeah, okay.' 'So you're Al, right?' 'Yep!'” ThinkingKnowsWellsKindJobsUsedHateNamesActingFansMinutesOkayI HateYeahPressesI RealizedAls Author:Ed O'Neill
“Oh yeah - you have to write every day. Or every weekday. Because writing is a job. It's not eureka moments over and over. It's grueling work, panning for gold. You just keep at it and eventually you get a few grains. Or flakes. Or whatever gold looks like in rivers. Or maybe it's like fishing. Who cares? You just have to do it every day because you never know which day is going to be your productive day.” KnowsWritingLooksMomentsCareJobsRiversGoldYeahProductiveFishingOver ItGrainWho CaresFlakesWeekdays Author:Tim Schafer
“Yeah, for some reason parrots have to bite me. That's their job. I don't know why that is. They've nearly torn my nose off. I've had some really bad parrot bites.” KnowsReasonJobsYeahNosesBitesTornParrotsBite Me Author:Steve Irwin
“Yeah, I used to dress badly until I was about sixteen. But people just didn't seem to have enough respect for me, you know And I didn't like that, so I decided I'd have to show them they weren't any better than me, you know? They were sort of priding themselves. They would say, 'He beat us at chess, but he's still just an uncouth kid.' So I decided to dress up.” PeopleKnowsStillsEnoughShowsSeemsKidsUsedBeatsDecidedDressesYeahChessSixteenUncouth Author:Bobby Fischer
“I don't know about the baby, but I will be interested to see, like anyone who's a fan of the show [how it's resolved]," he said, and then joked, "They'll have to resolve me while I'm not there, so I hope they don't say, 'Oh yeah, Mulder's gone, what an asshole. He had a baby with me, he kissed me and then he left.'” KnowsSaidShowsLeftGoneFansBabyYeahResolve Author:David Duchovny
“Yeah, we appreciate our women followng...and I love women. I mean, I just really love women. I love men, too, but you know it's like sometimes you look up from what you're doing and you go, 'I love women.' There's just something about them and so, just celebrate it.” KnowsMenLooksMeanSometimesAppreciateYeahCelebrateLook Up Author:Amy Ray
“Yeah, I think the point has well and truly sunk in by now, and I can just carry on. I don't even know what I'm looking for except a bit of hilarity and mild insanity musically, and I can get none of that by just delving into the history.” ThinkingKnowsWellsI CanBitsYeahInsanityHilarityDelving Author:Robert Plant