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Famous Bob Hope Quotes
“She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.”
“I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.”
“I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!”
“Television. That's where movies go when they die.”
“I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.”
“Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.”
“I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.”
“I don't know what people have against government; they haven't done anything.”
“You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.”
“It's a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you'll be able to watch it all on TV.”
“Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.”
“I led such a sheltered life I didn't go out with girls until I was almost four.”
“The home videos aren't as good, but they are seeming to get better.”
“Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show.”
“Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.”
“You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.”
“Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.”
“Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.”
“If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.”
“Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.”
“I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.”
“I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.”