Bob Hope
A source page for quotes linked to Bob Hope.
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Source: THE ROAD TO HOLLYWOOD~MY FORTY-YEAR LOVE AFFAIR WITH THE MOVIES
“I left England when I was four because I found out I could never be King.”
“Everybody knows what California smog is - that's fog with the vitamins removed.”
“I was lucky I wasn't a better boxer, or that's what I'd be now - a punchy ex-pug.”
“The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.”
“I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.”
“If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.”
“The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.”
“Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.”
“You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
“If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.”
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.”
“I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.”
“I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.”
“A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.”
“If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.”
“The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.”
“Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.”
“A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?”
“I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.”
“The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.”
“When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.”
“I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.”