“Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for?” IfsKnowsHumansHateHuman BeingsColorConceptsSkinsPrejudiceRacial PrejudiceBaffled Book:Rants Source: Rants
“I think the people can bash Catholics because they know Catholics won't kill them. Quite frankly, there's some religions out there, you bash and they're going to kill you.” PeopleThinkingKnowsCatholicBash Author:Dennis Miller
“I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.” KnowsHumansPersonsHuman BeingsBrainDriven Author:Dennis Miller
“The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb about it, so I surround myself with smart people in much the same way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut. I just pay things off. That's all I do.” PeopleKnowsWayEnoughPayPolicySmartHolesDumbSurroundSmart PeopleDoughnutFiscal Policy Author:Dennis Miller
“The very definition of the innate hollowness of leading a political life when you end up on your nearest and dearest moments or most personal evenings with donors. That should - that should tell you all you need to know about the ramble that is politics.” KnowsNeedsShouldEndsMomentsPoliticalDefinitionsEveningInnateDonorsPolitical LifeHollowness Author:Dennis Miller
“How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.” KnowsTwoGodHavensStupiditySnowflake Author:Dennis Miller
“Think of Iraq as "East Korea," because it was a shoot the cuffs war for the edification of Kim Jong Il to let him know we've now circled the SUVs. Iraq was about breaking adhesions, getting lean, staying frosty - in short, getting ready for the big Doug MacArthur Memorial Cage Match to come.” ThinkingKnowsWarBigsReadyIraqEastStayingCagesKoreaMemorialKimCuffsSuvsEdificationMacarthur Author:Dennis Miller
“Is global warming new? I don't know. When I was young I remember the sun being hot.” KnowsRememberYoungSunHotGlobal Warming Author:Dennis Miller
“Teresa Lewis, the only woman on death row in Virginia, says she doesn't deserve the death penalty because she only hired the killers of her husband and stepson, she didn't actually pull the trigger herself. You know, she has a point. I think we should let her be able to hire the person who executes her, and not do yourself in! How's that, doll? Yeah! Get it over with quick, maybe Charlize Theron will sign up to play you.” ThinkingKnowsShouldPersonsPlayAbleHusbandDeserveYeahKillersPenaltiesDeath PenaltyTriggersDollsVirginiaTeresaDeath RowStepsons Author:Dennis Miller
“Everyone wants answers and wants to know what the timeline is. Unfortunately, it's a complex situation, and we don't have the final answers yet.” KnowsWantAnswersSituationComplexesFinalsTimelines Author:Dennis Miller
“I don't know what I think of George W. Bush when he first got in, but I've grown fond of the man, and maybe it's the times we live in. They say he's not an environmentalist. But every time I see his ranch on TV, it looks pretty nice. You know something, if we all took care of our own, we'd have a great environment.” IfsThinkingKnowsMenFirstsLooksCareEnvironmentNiceHe ManTvsEnvironmentalist Author:Dennis Miller
“Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?” KnowsWarVoteWeatherExplanation Author:Dennis Miller
“Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.” KnowsWayWantHumorFunnyLetting GoGuiltRant Author:Dennis Miller
“I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.” KnowsEnoughComedyTrustSakeHipsComedianTrust In GodViewersTrust MeStand Up Comedy Author:Dennis Miller
“Technology is fine. . ., but that popular vision of the future, where you plug somebody in and leave them there and they don't get out and interact with actual flesh-and-blood humans - you know the answer before I say it - that's not good.” KnowsHumansAnswersVisionTechnologyBloodFineFleshPlugsFlesh And BloodVisions Of The Future Author:Dennis Miller
“You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.” KnowsProblemRealizingComedyEducationalEducation System Author:Dennis Miller
“My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.” KnowsWayInspirationalSeemsFunnyGuyMissingFrontsTravelSillyFlyingEndlessSeatsNightmareFunny TravelAirportsThrustTurbulenceAccelerationBucklesFear Of FlyingNear Misses Author:Dennis Miller
“Why should I hate someone on the basis of their religion, when I can take a little time to get to know them and hate them for a myriad of real reasons.” KnowsShouldLittlesI CanRealReasonReligionHateBasesI HateShould ILittle Time Author:Dennis Miller
“With Browns' ticket prices what they are, you just know that all those dads who brought the entire family to sit in the 'dog pound' are secretly calculating how much blood they're going to have to sell next week to put groceries on the table.” KnowsNextBloodWeekDogFootballDadTablesSellsPoundsTicketsGroceriesNext WeekCalculating Author:Dennis Miller
“I don't know about you, but in my neighborhood, they just opened a Starbucks... IN A STARBUCKS!!!” KnowsNeighborhoodStarbucks Author:Dennis Miller
“I love this country for several reasons, not the least of which is that I know I'm allowed to hate it if I want to.” IfsKnowsWantCountryReasonHatePolitics Author:Dennis Miller
“I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.” PeopleThinkingKnowsWayWarPoliticsFeltWatchesProudHandlePatrioticCoverage Author:Dennis Miller
“The Democrats continue to snipe at Bush. They'll never give it up to him. You know Teddy Kennedy and Tom Daschle pick more nits than a father and son spider monkey team who know they're being followed by a National Geographic film crew.” KnowsGivingFilmFatherPoliticsTeamSonPicksDemocratTomsCrewMonkeysSpidersTeddyFather And SonNational GeographicFilm Crew Author:Dennis Miller
“And I know your next move, I watch you so much, 'There's been no proven link between the secular state of Iraq and al-Qaeda!' Come on. They both think we're Satan. Isn't that a nice starting point? Why are you so loathe to believe they might have each other on lunatic speed dial?” ThinkingKnowsBelieveStatesMightMovingNextPoliticsWatchesNiceStartingIraqSpeedSatanAlsLinksSecularProvenLunaticAl QaedaStarting PointLoatheNext Move Author:Dennis Miller
“The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't. So come on over folks, the more the merrier. But please, sign the guest book on the way in.” PeopleKnowsWayBookCountrySeemsPoliticsBornPleaseFolksGuestsMexicanSpoiledBratSpoiled BratMore The Merrier Author:Dennis Miller
