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Dennis Miller Quotes

Comedian

Dennis Miller, born on November 3, 1953, is a renowned American comedian. His career began in the late 1970s, and he quickly gained prominence in the comedy world with his unique humor style and sharp wit.

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Famous Dennis Miller Quotes

“A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.”

Looks Hands Politics Conversation Clock Racing Second Hand

Author:Dennis Miller

“A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.'”

People Looks Messages Hey Idiot Voting Look At Me

Author:Dennis Miller

“Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.”

People Looks Littles Force Half Pale Addict Burgers Health Food

Author:Dennis Miller

“I don't know what I think of George W. Bush when he first got in, but I've grown fond of the man, and maybe it's the times we live in. They say he's not an environmentalist. But every time I see his ranch on TV, it looks pretty nice. You know something, if we all took care of our own, we'd have a great environment.”

Ifs Thinking Knows Men Firsts Looks Care Environment Nice He Man Tvs Environmentalist

Author:Dennis Miller

“I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.”

Looks Humor Funny Planets Cat Clown Vans Pessimistic Rodeo

Book:Rants

Source: Rants

“When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of the Nerds look like the Rat Pack in 1962. I, myself made that kid Booger look like Remington Steele.”

Looks Made Character Kids Guy College Revenge Hung Packs Rats Nerd Campus Boogers Remington Rat Pack

Book:I Rant, Therefore I Am

Source: I Rant, Therefore I Am

“I like money. It's fun to fold and stack and smell and look at. It's just plain fun to count money, and I often do it in a loud falsetto while wearing nothing but a captain's hat and a coin changer.”

Looks Fun Money Smell Loud Hats Captains Coins Folds Falsetto

Book:I Rant, Therefore I Am

Source: I Rant, Therefore I Am

“Check out the helmet hair on Randy Moss, babe! He looks like some freakish anti-Mr. T after a long evening sleeping through 'Aida.'”

Looks Long Sleep Football Hair Checks Evening Babe Moss Helmet Randy

Author:Dennis Miller

“Look, we're Americans: optimistic, addicted to the quick fix, constantly on the hunt for the new and exotic. It's much easier for us to accept a guy with a big white beard hawking his own custom blend of saw palmetto and squirrel dandruff that it is to hear a real doctor telling us to lay off the big macs, and get off our fat asses and take a walk every decade or so.”

Looks Real Bigs Guy White Walks Accepting Saws Easier Doctors Lays Decades Fats Ass Optimistic Insult Customs Hunts Beard Exotic Macs Squirrels Quick Fixes Big Mac

Author:Dennis Miller

“If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.”

Ifs Looks Reality Stuff Internet Computer Cracks Punk Making Love Jersey Unemployed New Jersey Virtual Reality Cassettes

Author:Dennis Miller

About the Author

Born: November 3, 1953
Known for: Comedian
Quotes: 244

Books & Sources

Ranting AgainRelated source material

RantsRelated source material

I Rant, Therefore I AmRelated source material

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