“Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.” ThinkingWantTryingGuyDangerousWant U Book:Rants Source: Rants
“A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.” ThinkingMenWantTryingRealityGuyResultsToo MuchDangerousDrinkThirdsMythSmokeCigaretteWant UMotorcycleWomen WantHelmet Author:Dennis Miller
“For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.” WantNeedsIdeasHumorFunnyCarProductsThousandFilledOilNot SureMallsParkingHydrogenParking LotHindenburg Author:Dennis Miller
“Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8. My kids' kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.” PeopleIfsWantWellsHumorKidsFunnyThreeAsksEffectsDegreesSixMovedWorriedAsk MeGlobal WarmingPhoenixI Love My KidsLove My Kids Author:Dennis Miller
“I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from overseas wants to blow up their wedding, that's when I'm right.” IfsWantTwoCareGuyLeftCasesGayMarriedBlowNutsCould Care LessGay Guy Author:Dennis Miller
“If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.” IfsWayWantDiesFrontsHerds Author:Dennis Miller
“Everyone wants answers and wants to know what the timeline is. Unfortunately, it's a complex situation, and we don't have the final answers yet.” KnowsWantAnswersSituationComplexesFinalsTimelines Author:Dennis Miller
“I've grown fonder for Hillary Clinton since she ran for the presidency. I think that it's emblematic of the Rolling Stones song, you can't always get what you want, i.e., the grail. Sometimes you get what you need. And whatever she's gotten over the last couple of years, being humbled or be it being humbled and see the proletariat come to bat for her, getting outside of the bubble, getting out of this man's shadow, not quite getting the job she wants but a great wonk job.” ThinkingMenWantNeedsYearsSometimesJobsLastsSongCoupleShadowStonesClintonWhat You WantRanBubblesRollingBatsPresidencyBe HumbleRolling StonesProletariat Author:Dennis Miller
“Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.” KnowsWayWantHumorFunnyLetting GoGuiltRant Author:Dennis Miller
“Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.” WantHumansHumorFunnyUsedHumanityHuman BeingsComedyInternetFence Author:Dennis Miller
“A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.” WantHouseWoodsCynicismEnvironmentalistDevelopers Book:Rants Source: Rants
“If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.” IfsWantLowsImpactMasturbationAerobics Author:Dennis Miller
“Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.” IfsWantShouldEnoughCareKidsStreetsWeaponsMassDestructionSmileCardsWant MeWeapons Of Mass DestructionMass DestructionYou Want Me Author:Dennis Miller
“I love this country for several reasons, not the least of which is that I know I'm allowed to hate it if I want to.” IfsKnowsWantCountryReasonHatePolitics Author:Dennis Miller
“The ACLU spent this entire holiday season protesting public displays of the nativity scene. Yeah, that's the problem with America right now: Public displays of Christ's birth, that's the problem. It's unbelievable to me. The ACLU will no longer fight for your right to put up a nativity scene, but they'll fight for the right of the local freak who wants to stumble onto the scene and have sex with one of the sheep.” WantProblemAmericaFightingPoliticsSexChristBirthRight NowSceneSeasonsYeahLocalsHolidayFreakDisplaySheepUnbelievableHoliday SeasonNativity Author:Dennis Miller
“The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world is Hitler. Bush is Hitler, Ashcroft is Hitler, Rumsfeld is Hitler. The only guy who isn't Hitler is the foreign guy with a mustache dropping people who disagree with him into the wood chipper. He's not Hitler.” PeopleWorldWantSeemsGuyPoliticsTypeWoodsDisagreeDroppingParadesMustache Author:Dennis Miller
“Seems to me we move the furniture, the French come in later and put the doilies on top of it...It's a simple fact they've always been reluctant to surrender to the wishes of their friends and are almost anticipatory in their urge to surrender to wishes of their enemies. And if they want to get their hands dirty now they're just gonna have to run 'em through their own hair.” IfsWantFactsHandsSeemsRunningMovingPoliticsWishSimpleEnemyHairSurrenderDirtyEmsUrgesFurnitureReluctantDoilies Author:Dennis Miller
“I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep my nose out of other people's personal business. I guess I fall into conservative when it comes to protecting the United States in a world where a lot of people hate the United States.” PeopleThinkingWorldWantSaidStatesHateChoicesFallPoliticsUnitedUnited StatesConservativeNosesAbortionPersonal Business Author:Dennis Miller
