“There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh.” PeopleNeedsEnoughShowsAttentionLaughingDoubtPleaseNo DoubtApprovalShow BusinessVesselLureEnough Love Author:Dennis Miller
“I think the people can bash Catholics because they know Catholics won't kill them. Quite frankly, there's some religions out there, you bash and they're going to kill you.” PeopleThinkingKnowsCatholicBash Author:Dennis Miller
“A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.'” PeopleLooksMessagesHeyIdiotVotingLook At Me Author:Dennis Miller
“The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb about it, so I surround myself with smart people in much the same way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut. I just pay things off. That's all I do.” PeopleKnowsWayEnoughPayPolicySmartHolesDumbSurroundSmart PeopleDoughnutFiscal Policy Author:Dennis Miller
“Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.” PeopleLooksLittlesForceHalfPaleAddictBurgersHealth Food Author:Dennis Miller
“Branson, Missouri, is Vegas for people with no teeth.” PeopleTeethVegasMissouri Author:Dennis Miller
“Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8. My kids' kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.” PeopleIfsWantWellsHumorKidsFunnyThreeAsksEffectsDegreesSixMovedWorriedAsk MeGlobal WarmingPhoenixI Love My KidsLove My Kids Author:Dennis Miller
“Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.” PeopleCarTrainAirplaneExposureSlowness Author:Dennis Miller
“It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark.” PeopleDarkZeroScrewsPolitically Correct Author:Dennis Miller
“It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.” PeopleReasonHateIndividualBasesFoolishHate People Author:Dennis Miller
“Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.” PeopleWayBookSakeMexican Author:Dennis Miller
“The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.” PeopleWorldGovernmentSawsDrugDown AndLawns Book:Rants Source: Rants
“There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to get people to pay for something on the Internet that they can find elsewhere on the Internet for free.” PeopleThinkingDifficultPayInternetInstanceConsumersElsewhereSelectPremium Author:Dennis Miller
“Everybody is full of crap. The coin of the realm is being full of crap. The best people - being full of crap are our leaders and our superstars.” PeopleLeaderRealmsCrapCoinsSuperstar Author:Dennis Miller
“We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being.” PeopleShouldHumansCountryFightingHuman BeingsMissingPreservesDetest Author:Dennis Miller
“I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years.” PeopleThinkingYearsTwoJobsFunSportsTwo YearsPretendingBest JobBroadcastingHad FunI Had Fun Author:Dennis Miller
“President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.” PeopleTryingFirstsHumorFunnyPresidentFiguresRadioReactionsPresidentialAddressesPresident BushFigure Skating Author:Dennis Miller
“What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.” PeopleWayWarMomentsCareTurnsFightingBusinessTakenComedyCampaignsShockTouchingTurn-onDimes Author:Dennis Miller
“There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.” PeoplePoliticsFearCommonAtheismVictimStupidityRageCommon SenseOutlinesChalk Author:Dennis Miller
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.” PeopleIfsWorldHappensJobsWorkWorstSurgeryWorst ThingsPulseDead People Author:Dennis Miller
“Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.” PeopleThinkingShowsFoundGamesCausesInterestingShow MeStagnant Author:Dennis Miller
“The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world is Hitler. Bush is Hitler, Ashcroft is Hitler, Rumsfeld is Hitler. The only guy who isn't Hitler is the foreign guy with a mustache dropping people who disagree with him into the wood chipper. He's not Hitler.” PeopleWorldWantSeemsGuyPoliticsTypeWoodsDisagreeDroppingParadesMustache Author:Dennis Miller
“I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.” PeopleThinkingKnowsWayWarPoliticsFeltWatchesProudHandlePatrioticCoverage Author:Dennis Miller
“The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't. So come on over folks, the more the merrier. But please, sign the guest book on the way in.” PeopleKnowsWayBookCountrySeemsPoliticsBornPleaseFolksGuestsMexicanSpoiledBratSpoiled BratMore The Merrier Author:Dennis Miller
“I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep my nose out of other people's personal business. I guess I fall into conservative when it comes to protecting the United States in a world where a lot of people hate the United States.” PeopleThinkingWorldWantSaidStatesHateChoicesFallPoliticsUnitedUnited StatesConservativeNosesAbortionPersonal Business Author:Dennis Miller
“Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.” PeoplePoliticsStreetsConservatism Author:Dennis Miller
