“You don't have to be a prophet or a psychic to see the future. All you have to be is an average observer and notice bare grocery shelves to know food shortages are coming. When you're hungry, you think of your favorite restaurant. But when you're starving, I hope you think of BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm.”
Source: Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.
“A man with no character flaws is a man who recently died and is being eulogized at his own funeral by someone surprised that he left his entire estate to them. One day that man will be me, and I'll be leaving all my ducks to you.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I have an English degree, which has as much value as The Papiermark in The Weimar Republic in 1923. It's worthless, and why I'm now a duck farmer. Plus, what could I do with English but be a classroom colonialist? If I wanted to teach something racist, I'd be a math professor.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“Money laundering is dirty business. Next time, try duck farming.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“Pickleball IS life. In fact, the game should replace fiat currency as a facilitator of trade. If you want to sell something tangible like a duck, why price it in dollars? Just haggle over units of pickleball play equal in value to a swimming bird.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“I'm making money moves. Those moves are delicate and subtle, because I don't want to wake up the duck cuddling on my lap, or spill the cup of coffee I'm holding while I ride my unicycle in this circus called Life.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“When I worked as a concierge, I loved getting a pat on the back from a guest, because it's like a tip, only better, because it doesn't devalue like fiat currency, and it will buy me food at the store. Oh yes, shared body language is the best facilitator of trade, and here on my duck farm I accept high-fives for eggs.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“As the dollar gets continuously devalued, competition for The People’s discretionary spending constantly increases. You don’t have to have a long neck like a duck to worry about things getting more cut-throat.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“People pay top dollar to eat my duck eggs. I wish they also paid bottom dollar, plus all the ones in the middle, because honestly, what am I gonna do with a dollar?”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“There's not much money to be made in duck farming. That's OK, because The Whisper Factory is now hiring! Report your grandma for suspicious behavior and get PAID!”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Johnny Cash isn’t king. Not in this inflationary economy. He should have called himself Johnny Gold, but that sounds too full of usury. But Johnny Duckeggs, now THAT sounds kingly.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Why miss a SALE at twenty dollars, when people will buy at $19.95? I've found that the opportunity to save that nickel really makes people say YES to buying a NEW duck.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I like how grocery stores play music while I'm shopping. Vintage pop really makes me want to pay full price and avoid looking for discounts. I need to implement that financial psychology here on my duck farm.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Gas prices are so high that people are trying to save money by demanding absurd deals, like Buy One Duck, Get Twelve FREE. I always respond, "Are you crazy? The best I can do is Buy Two, Get Eleven FREE.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“If The Dollar represents financialization, and The Dollar is dying, and we are moving towards currencies being backed by commodities, then The Future is REAL. BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Coin is backed by duck eggs.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“My duck farm is my side hustle. Only, there's no hustle in my side hustle. It's more like a gentle saunter, or even a waddle.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“I just shared a near-death experience with a duck. Tell Grandmother I’ll be home by $2.99, but that I plan on using a coupon, so don't wait up for me.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun. At BearPaw Duck Farm, both are acceptable forms of currency for trade.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“She said she was a fan of Edward Snowden, and I replied, "You know, I'm something of a whistleblower myself. In fact, I'm so advanced it's called a flute. I play elevator music as smooth as a duck swims, and if you enjoy the duration of your ride, you might consider tipping.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“For most people, their brains host their memories. But not me. I store all my nostalgia in my ducks, so even if I should die, my ducks will still know how much money you owe me.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“People pay a lot of fake money for old wine bottles filled with mystery fluid that they haven’t even tasted because it’s centuries old. So, I’m willing to bet people would spend even more fiat currency for new wine bottles filled with duck soup.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“As I was petting my cat this morning, it hit me that maybe my cat was stillfully rubbing my hand. In this upside-down world of negative interest rates, can you really be sure of anything except the value of duck eggs?”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“After a stranger asked where I'm from, I told him I'm from Florida, and he said he has been there once and he'd stayed a week. I replied, "Yes, I remember. We all waited for you to come back, and we wondered where you had gone. We cried out for you, but you never answered." Then I offered him a swig of duck soup, because I had a thermos full and we were now practically brothers.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Ducks love me because I am a dandelion. I am a Wind Flower. I'm half wind, half flower. My mother is a flower and my father is the wind, and I know this because he's so gone he's invisible, but at one time my mother felt his presence.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“My cousin doesn't know my name, so he calls me Marie The 13th. I told him, "Please, call me Mr. The 13th. Marie is my father's name." Family reunions are always awkward because nobody there is related to me. Still, I give them all discounts on BearPaw Duck Farm omelets.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I'm a consoomer. Instead of wall-to-wall Funko Pops, I collect ducks, and I store them all in a pen at night where they can be on display to inspire jealous desire in foxes, coyotes, and Miss Marple.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“I’m training tuna fish to land travel using slices of tomatoes as wheels. You wouldn't believe how many swimming creatures are jealous of ducks' versatility of movement.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Kendrick Lamar's last name is Duckworth. What's a Duckworth? More than a chicken.”
Source: Me and memes and memories
“I'm a musical conductor. My orchestra is composed of 72 quacking ducks, and they perform best in the morning when I'm about to let them out of their pen.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“Powdered Saxophone Music is now FOR SALE. (Duck pond not included.)”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“Ducks splash in water like an aqua saxophone swims in jazz. Elevators have space that needs to be filled with anti-silence, and I have a surplus of liquid music you can purchase or lease.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“Music is fluid, and my ducks love splashing in it. When I fill my pool full of Vaporwave, they swim like they're dancing.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“White people have been accused of not seasoning our chicken. But what about other poultry? I season duck with layered flavors of various aquatic spices, like swimming, splashing, and powdered saxophone music.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“My ducks have trumpets for beaks. I do NOT farm the way liquid jazz would fill up an elevator and turn it into an ascending pond.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“Piano ducks swimming make noises like drowning saxophones. I taught them how to Mozart like powdered Michael Phelps on the bottom of a crushed box of cereal.”
Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge
“I make music one note at a time, just like Mozart did. Tomorrow night you’ll get to hear the second note in my masterpiece symphony. If you could take the clicking noises that a whale makes, merge them with ducks quacking, and convert them to digital wavelengths, that's the vibe.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“The reason I write music with one note occurring every 24 hours is that slow dancing is a lost art, and I'm trying to bring it back at an almost inaudible pace. Listen like a duck swims or you'll miss the best part of the song.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“It should be illegal to condense xylophone music and sell it in a can as imitation duck broth, but it isn’t, and so I do. One for $20, or 19 for ONLY $19.95!”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Liquid xylophone music with a hint of saxophone is too exotic to drink. But it's perfect for swimming ducks, and that sound really comes across in the taste later.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Old houses make funny noises. One time I stayed in a decaying place that made sounds like John Waite's 1984 radio hit "Missing You." Personally, I liked it, but the 13 ducks I was sharing a bathtub with didn't agree, so they made me take them to the luxury hotel known as Motel 6.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Sometimes my duck soup tastes like melted saxophone jazz, only more metallic. That's why I spice it up with trombone solo in liquid format.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Here is a historical fact that somehow gets overlooked, and might seem controversial, but it just simply is true: The Beastie Boys should only be listened to by deaf people. Any other time it plays over speakers, it should be considered torture and an act of war. Even ducks, the songbirds of the feathered swimmers, hate The Beastie Boys, and consider them to be The Three Stooges of the musical world, with all of the vocal talent of Gilbert Gottfried.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Ducks are a lot like lightning, I thought to myself as I played my electric guitar. Or was it a harp? I get those two farm tools mixed up.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I once tried to cut down a tree using saxophone music, but it didn’t work because I was playing a flute. That’s when I started designing clothing made out of cardboard boxes and duck farming.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“A zebra is the piano of the animal kingdom, and now you can learn to play like Mozart on horseback. If I can coach my ducks to become World Dodgeball Champions, I can make your musical equestrian dreams a reality.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“When I make duck soup, I add an extra pinch of Simply Red’s hit song “Holding Back The Years.” It makes a better emulsifier than peeled carrots.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I sleep in my sunglasses. They’re two miles away and I’m awake at the time, thanks to my ducks and their quacking and their loud jazz music in the early morning hours between 3-5 PM.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“Dust off your dancing shoes, the ones with wheels attached, because I’ve got banjo sounds FOR SALE. I’ve got boxes and boxes of the stuff labeled “Sexy," and to be sure nobody steals them, they are rubber and waterproof and I store them all on the bottom of my duck pond.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“If you like how jazz music sounds, you'll love how it tastes. My duck soup now comes in trumpet-solo flavor. You don't have to curl weights, because this is already pure Armstrong.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I used to have an eagle for a mustache. I made FREEDOM music when I whistled. Now I'm wiser. Now I have a duck above my upper lip.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.