“I like my duck eggs runny, like Roger Bannister when he broke the four-minute mile barrier.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“Look up BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm. We're in The Phone Book. I know, because I actually found a copy and scribbled our contact information inside. Business is about to go the way of NASA's 1986 Challenger rocket.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“A can of tomato soup has many uses. One of them is as a projectile through a window. Next time, buy some Condensed Duck Juice.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“My favorite part about a wind farm is the invisible fruit that it yields. Plus, it's like a garden of giant metal flowers, and that's almost as romantic as a book composed exclusively of duck quotes.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Why do magicians make rabbits disappear? They should use ducks. I say this because I happen to have a few FOR SALE.”
Source: Whenever you're here, I'm there for you
“Time is fluid, like water. Swim in it like a duck.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“This Saturday I'm having a Yard Sale. I'm selling sod in cute little squares. (Buy Two, Get A FREE Duck!)”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“A flamingo is a pink giraffe bird. That’s pretty exotic until you consider that a Pekin duck is the Amelia Earhart of avians.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“Every Friday The Thirteenth I celebrate Knights Templar Day. Here at my Duck Farm Gift Shop, I've got THE authentic map that details the location of their hidden treasure, and I'll sell it to you for ONLY $19.95. (Limit one per customer.)”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“If you're not too busy making money for The Bankers for FREE, would you mind if I used your body to power BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm? As far as batteries go, you're the second most interesting one I've ever met.”
Source: Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.
“Time flies, it's true. But what kind of wings does it have, butterfly wings, bat wings, or eagle wings? None. It has the wings of a duck, which is why I'm surprised nobody in history has noticed that time also swims.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I've been to Mansfield. Maybe one day I'll go back and find myself an Amish woman to marry and we will have enough kids so they can all just pick up my barn and we can move my duck farm to the newest Meme Factory where I'll find work as a caption creator.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“Using only audio software and recordings of ducks quacking and splashing in water, I make intergender music. That way you can ponder if you are truly Disney Trans enough for modern society while you dance with yourself.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“My ducks swim like they are water dancing. They do this because I play the saxophone like it's liquid music.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“Ducks are water gymnasts. Their fluid motion goes beyond dance and into art.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“Growing up, I was always filled with DoNotDisturbery, and I dance like a Slippery When Wet sign with legs. The jerky motion might remind you of a Pekin duck in flight.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I bought an aquarium for my ducks, because that's kind of how I dance. Lessons start at $19.83 and move on up to 1984 in a Boogaloo Orwell mix. There was too much electricity, so I had to unplug my moves from The Matrix. (Kneepads not included.)”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“Roller skating is dancing with wheels. I let the rhythm flow through my body like water through a duck. Watch where you step.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I dance like a rodeo tornado, and I make duck soup with extra feathers. To make it taste more authentic, you should try drinking it out of a dusty cowboy boot.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I'm wearing my Midnight Black Dancing Shoes. They are shaped like vintage locomotives, and I move like the memory of Branson in 1991—which fluctuates by minutes every day, just like the scene at my duck farm.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I dance like my legs are made of Jell-O. I know, exotic and romantic, right? But my dancing also now comes in Duck Soup Flavor, and is FOR SALE in small, medium, and buffet-style.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Your dance moves should be fluid, like Duck Soup. Right now when you buy my Romance In Motion lessons, you get FREE refills.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I dance like a dead man rolling out of a coffin, and that's also how Campbell's tastes. But if you fill up a thermos with my Duck Soup, it might help you win the marathon at the next Olympics. I'd like to sponsor your performance.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Nobody admires the sculpture of dance, and my moves are as fluid as a statue, which few people are willing to pay to watch. That's why I'm now selling duck eggs at food shortage prices.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“The key to dancing is to do it without music. Whoever first paired dancing and music together was a lunatic, like a duck running a marathon, and would have been more useful to society if squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste. Nine out of ten dentists agree with me.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Shrinkflation is when you pay more money and receive less than what you used to get at a lower price. It's like buying a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and being served two pieces of bread. But in that Air Sandwich there exists the possibility of flight. And if those two slices of bread are soggy, then you have just created Duck Heaven.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“The best thing about an air sandwich is between the two slices of bread there exists the possibility of flight. And if those two slices of bread are soggy, then you have just created Duck Heaven.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I built a giant gumball machine, and I filled it with duck eggs. The only currency it accepts as payment is karaoke singing.”
Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge
“Thanks to my ducks practicing for The Monteverdi Choir tryouts, I didn’t sleep a wink last night. No, I slept a whole blink, which is more restful and less flirtatious than a wink.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“You are in your dreams, but you also appear in mine. Yet you have no memory of ever being in even one of my dreams. How can you forget some place you spend so much time? Compared to a duck, you make the swimming bird’s brain look like a supercomputer.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“A pond is just a giant bowl of Rain Soup. BearPaw Duck Farm has one that's one quarter full, or three quarters empty, depending on if you are a realist or a realist. I myself am a realist, which is like a pessimist's pessimist.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“People say jazz puts them to sleep. As a master saxophone player, one who sounds like a duck quacking, I don't know if they're trying to insult me or insinuating they found a holistic solution to their insomnia. My music NOW comes in water-soluble tablets to be taken before bed.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“Before I had a duck farm, I had a business partner. Between Brian and I, we had a thousand dollars invested. Brian had $990, and I had all the rest. I really did have all the rest, because I slept while he worked.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“For better sleep tonight, pre-order your duck fight today. It’ll give your pillow the energy you need to power slumber through to the morning.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“A boring machine, would it drill holes—or put you to sleep? The two-party political system, that’s a boring machine, though voters are waking up. I'd like to think my ducks quacking for their breakfast in the morning is also helping The Sleepwalkers rise from their slumber.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“What if a slumber retailer merged with a hamburger substitute to form a new store called Bed, Bath, and Beyond Meat? It would be the opposite of what ducks make, which is real sleep products (feather pillows) and real food (eggs).”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“My body is sore. I’m not very good at the sport called Sleeping. Like a waddling duck is to a marathon runner, so I am to a kitten. I need to practice more, maybe multiple times a day.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Have you ever had a prophetic dream about my duck farm being as successful in the future as The Spicy Chicken Sandwich? No? Well, try harder! For better results, sleep longer.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“Some people put more thought into what kind of car to buy than what kind of mate to marry. I think that's foolish, because when I'm not duck farming, I'm a bicycle salesman. Well, I actually only have one bicycle to sell, and I stole it, which is what makes it so profitable.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.