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Mark Twain

Mark Twain Quotes

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Famous Mark Twain Quotes

“I was educated, I was trained, I was a Presbyterian and I knew how these things are done. I knew that in Biblical times if a man committed a sin the extermination of the whole surrounding nation-cattle and all-was likely to happen. I knew that Providence was not particular about the rest, so that He got somebody connected with the one He was after.”

IfsMenDoneWholeHappensReligionNationsSinParticularCommittedConnectedEducatedProvidenceBiblicalCattlePresbyteriansExtermination
Book:Mark Twain in Eruption (Abridged, Annotated)
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“When even the brightest mind in our world has been trained up from childhood in a superstition of any kind, it will never be possible for that mind, in its maturity, to examine sincerely, dispassionately, and conscientiously any evidence or any circumstance which shall seem to cast a doubt upon the validity of that superstition. I doubt if I could do it myself.”

IfsWorldMindKindHas BeensSeemsScienceDoubtChildhoodCircumstancesEvidenceCastsMaturityIf I CouldOur WorldSuperstitionsSkepticismSincerelyExaminationValidity
Book:Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)
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“The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass. If the case be otherwise, I beg his pardon and extend to him the cordial hand of fellowship and call him brother.”

IfsKnowsHandsCoursesSpeakCasesBrotherReaderTravelAssGentleFellowshipPardonGreat TravelSuppositionTravel AbroadTravel ExperienceSpeak Now
Book:The Innocents Abroad
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“I am technically "boss" of the family which I am carrying along-but I am grateful to know that it is only technically - that the real authority rests on the other side of the house. It is placed there by a beneficent Providence, who foresaw before I was born, or, if he did not, he has found it out since - that I am not in any way qualified to travel alone.”

IfsKnowsWayRealFoundHouseSidesBornTravelAuthorityGratefulBossProvidenceQualifiedI Am Grateful
Book:Mark Twain Speaking
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“An injurious truth has no merit over an injurious lie. Neither should ever be uttered. The man who speaks an injurious truth, lest his soul be not saved if he do otherwise, should reflect that that sort of a soul is not strictly worth saving.”

IfsMenShouldSoulTruthLyingSpeakHe ManSavedSavingMerit
Book:The Complete Works of Mark Twain: All 13 Novels, Short Stories, Poetry and Essays
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“In America, we hurry-which is well; but when the day's work is done, we go on thinking of losses and gains, we plan for the morrow, we even carry our business cares to bed with us...we burn up our energies with these excitements, and either die early or drop into a lean and mean old age at a time of life which they call a man's prime in Europe...What a robust people, what a nation of thinkers we might be, if we would only lay ourselves on the shelf occasionally and renew our edges!”

PeopleIfsThinkingMenWellsMeanDoneMightCareAgeAmericaDiesEnergyNationsWorkLossPlansGoes OnBedGainsEuropeLaysEdgesOld AgeExcitementPrimeThinkerShelvesMorrowRobust
Book:Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations
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“Life was a fairy-tale, then, it is a tragedy now. When I was 43 and John Hay 41 he said life was a tragedy after 40, and I disputed it. Three years ago he asked me to testify again: I counted my graves, and there was nothing for me to say. I am old; I recognize it but I don't realize it. I wonder if a person ever really ceases to feel young - I mean, for a whole day at a time.”

IfsFeelsYearsMeanPersonsSaidWholeAgeYoungThreeRealizingWonderYears AgoTragedyGravesCeaseTalesFairyThree YearsFairy TaleHaySaid Life
Book:Mark Twain’s Letters & Speeches (Annotated Edition)
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“Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what it was done for. I suppose it is, I dunno. If The Eiffel Tower were now to represent the world's age, the skin of paint on the pinnacle knob at its summit would represent man's share of that age; and anybody would perceive that the skin was what the tower was built for. I reckon they would, I dunno.”

IfsMenWorldYearsHas BeensDoneAgeScienceUniverseMillionsShareEvolutionHundredBuiltSkinsPaintProofPerceiveTowersSummitPinnacleEiffel TowerKnobsEiffel
Book:Mark Twain’s Book of Animals
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“God made all the animals in a single day; he could have swept them all away in the flood and re-created them in one day when they were again needed. Therefore it was an odd idea to save specimens of them for eleven months in the ark, whilst aware that eight persons could not feed or water them by any human possibility. If they were to be preserved by miracle, the ark was not necessary - to let them swim would have answered the purpose and been more indubitably miraculous.”

IfsHumansPersonsMadeIdeasPurposeWaterAnimalPossibilityMonthsEvolutionNeededOne DayMiracleEightOddSwimFloodMiraculousElevenArk
Author:Mark Twain
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“A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.”

IfsMenGivingFeelsLongSelfEnoughAbleTogetherBitsChanceCompanyInfluenceHard WorkFairsImportanceReasonableZeroSublimeConceitSelf-importanceGlaciersAlps
Book:A Tramp Abroad
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“The self taught man seldom knows anything accurately, and he does not know a tenth as much as he could have known if he had worked under teachers, and besides, he brags, and is the means of fooling other thoughtless people into going and doing as he himself has done.”

PeopleIfsKnowsMenMeanDoeSelfDoneKnownLearningTeacherTaughtEducationalBragSelf Taught
Book:Stormfield Edition of the Writings of Mark Twain [pseud.].: What is man? and other essays
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“If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.”

IfsWorldShouldEndsJusticeDealsCompassionKindnessThis WorldGratitudeGainsAnd LoveGenerousProfitableKindness And CompassionBeing Generous
Book:Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 1: The Complete and Authoritative Edition
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“'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the world it would still sing to me.”

IfsKnowsWorldShouldHeartStillsWorryPhrasesSarcastic
Book:MARK TWAIN Ultimate Collection: 370+ Titles in One Volume (Illustrated): The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, The Prince and the Pauper, The £1,000,000 Bank Note, A Horse’s Tale, Yankee in King Arthur's Court, The Innocents Abroad, Life on the Mississippi…
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“If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging? Framed in a more positive light, this tells us also that if we wish to accomplish a particular thing then we need to increase our level of desire for that thing and to create or seek out the opportunities and right environment for it to happen without fail.”

IfsNeedsLightHappensTogetherDesireOpportunityWishLevelsEnvironmentFailingParticularInspirational LifeIncreaseAccomplishFramed
Author:Mark Twain
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“The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. It is said that leaders are readers. However if they read trashy magazines for the majority of their time and they never run with the information that they glean from resourceful books, then they may as well have not taken any time to read at all. It is easier to stay out than get out.”

IfsMenWellsMaySaidBookRunningLeaderTakenInformationHe ManInspirational LifeReaderEasierAdvantageMajorityMagazinesGood BookResourceful
Author:Mark Twain
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“He had an uncommon fondness for cats. As an old man summering in New Hampshire, Twain even rented kittens from a nearby farm to keep him company until he returned home. "If man could be crossed with the cat," said Twain, "it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.”

IfsMenSaidHomeCompanyHe ManInspirational LifeCatOld ManFarmsKittenUncommonYour Best FriendFondnessHampshireNew Hampshire
Author:Mark Twain
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“Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would be surprised to find how far off they are, for they do not look it. When they first showed last night I tried to knock some down with a pole, but it didn't reach, which astonished me. Then I tried clods till I was all tired out, but I never got one. I did make some close shots, for I saw the black blot of the clod sail right into thee midst of the golden clusters forty or fifty times, just barely missing them, and if I could've held out a little longer, maybe I could've got one.”

IfsFirstsLooksLittlesWould BeLastsNightWishStarsBlackSawsMissingHairShotsTiredPerseveranceGoldenTheeIf I CouldFiftyFortyMidstSailLast NightClusters
Book:The Complete Works of Mark Twain: All 13 Novels, Short Stories, Poetry and Essays
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“In God We Trust. It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings. It is simple, direct, gracefully phrased; it always sounds well - In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.”

IfsBelieveWellsFeelingsReligionSoundSimpleAtheismDirectPaidDon't BelieveComplimentGod We Trust
Book:MARK TWAIN: 12 Novels, 195 Short Stories, Autobiography, 10 Travel Books, 160+ Essays & Speeches (Illustrated): Including Letters & Biographies – The Complete Works of Mark Twain: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, The Innocents Abroad, Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Life on the Mississippi…
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“If I were required to guess off-hand, and without collusion with higher minds, what is the bottom cause of the amazing material and intellectual advancement of the last fifty years, I should guess that it was the modern-born and previously non-existent disposition on the part of men to believe that a new idea can have value.”

IfsMenLifeInspirationalShouldYearsMindBelieveIdeasHandsInspirationMotivationalLastsMotivationValuesCausesBornModernMaterialsHigherIntellectualOptimismBottomFiftyNew IdeasDispositionAdvancementCollusion
Book:MARK TWAIN Ultimate Collection: 370+ Titles in One Volume (Illustrated): The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, The Prince and the Pauper, The £1,000,000 Bank Note, A Horse’s Tale, Yankee in King Arthur's Court, The Innocents Abroad, Life on the Mississippi…
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