Filter quotes by topic
Famous Steven Wright Quotes
“I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.”
“I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”
“I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. But my lawyer thinks he can get me five.”
“Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.”
“Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?”
“I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.”
“I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'”
“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”