“When you're a stand-up, you play in front of 600 people, and it's all about timing. I could never do stand-up comedy; it would be way too hard for me.” PeopleWayHardPlayWould BeComedyFrontsTimingStand Up Comedy Author:Dean Norris
“I would love to work with Sir Anthony Hopkins. How and why that would happen in a comedy I'm not sure - why he would be dragged over to my side, or I'd be be dragged over to his side.” HappensWould BeSidesComedyNot SureHopkins Author:Eugene Levy
“Playing roles that are intense and damaged has always come more easily to me than doing comedies or lighter stuff - that would be taking a huge risk for me.” Would BeStuffRolesComedyRiskHugeIntenseLightersPlaying Roles Author:Sarah Polley
“The person I have admired the most in comedy terms would be Eric Morecambe, who is my total hero.” PersonsWould BeTermComedyHeroEric Author:Dawn French
“My dream career would be to be in things that have real heart and are telling real stories but while doing that, you're getting really big laughs. I don't necessarily love the straight crazy comedies. 'Caddyshack' is amazing, but there's not a lot of new 'Caddyshack's.” HeartRealStoriesDreamBigsWould BeCareersLaughingComedyCrazyReal StoryReal Heart Author:Jake M. Johnson
“I'd probably want to teach at university, because children would drive me insane. I suspect it would be English literature, Shakespeare and so forth. I've always been deeply, deeply in love with that kind of thing.” WantKindChildrenWould BeLiteratureTeachComedyUniversityInsaneSuspectsEnglish LiteratureDeeply In Love Author:Stephen Fry
“I wanted to write something that would be a comedy in the sense of making people feel happier when they finish it than they did when began it.” PeopleFeelsWritingWould BeWantedLiteratureComedy Author:Neil Gaiman
“When I was three, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since.” Would BeValuesThreeFeltRealizingTeachLaughingComedyDadPureMy DadShockSwearChasingSwear WordShock Value Author:Sarah Silverman
“My idea as far as comedy goes has always been to push the limits of what's acceptable for a woman to do or say or be. My hero in that would be Lenny Bruce, who teaches us that words have no meaning. It's the intent behind them that is what's important.” ImportantIdeasWould BeBehindsTeachComedyHeroLimitsAcceptableWhat's ImportantMy Hero Author:Lea DeLaria
“When I got into comedy, which was really for acting, I would see the guys who would be considered great today. They were great, but after a few minutes I could get kind of bored because they wouldn't move around. The dress code was boring to me. I didn't want to see the guy next door when I'm watching a performer. I wanted to see someone I would pay a ticket for.” WantKindWould BeTodayWantedMovingGuyNextPayActingComedyDoorsMinutesDressesBoringCodeBoredPerformersTicketsDress Code Author:Andrew Dice Clay
“Comedy is tragedy revisited or hostility. It is mock hostility, of course, or it would be ugly; we would have a war.” WarWould BeCoursesComedyTragedyUglyHostilityMock Author:Phyllis Diller
“If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.” IfsWritingWould BeTodayComedyAliveStudiosLive For TodayMackWriting Comedy Book:Benchley beside himself Source: Benchley beside himself
“I would rather die than be in the United States Senate. I would be bored to death. Could you imagine me, banging around that chamber with 99 other people, asking for a motion on the amendment in the subcommittee? Forget it...You'd watch me just walk out and walk right into the Potomac River and drown. That would be it.” PeopleStatesRealityWould BeDiesPoliticsLeadershipWorkWalksForgetUnitedWatchesUnited StatesComedyImagineHuman NaturePolicyRiversAskingIndividualityIdeologyBoredVotingSenateAmendmentsDiplomacyChamberForget ItCivilityBangingWatch MeBored To Death Author:Chris Christie
“since piety has become the fashion at Court, dramatic authors imagine that their pieces would be more welcome if they added in a little devotion. At first their plan succeeded, but now no one can bear their comedies.” IfsFirstsLittlesWould BeComedyPiecesImaginePlansFashionBearsTheaterCourtDevotionWelcomeDramaticImagine ThatPiety Author:Elisabeth Charlotte d'Orleans
“I think it would be so fun to do some kind of comedy, something - I'm not exactly sure, but something like I just did Moliere's "Tartuffe" in class, and wow, what a stretch. Why go to classes? I get to play in Moliere's "Tartuffe," and I could never - nobody would ever think that they would be, I'd be right for that.” ThinkingKindPlayWould BeFunClassComedyWow Author:Eva Mendes
“I would love to continue to challenge myself by trying different things. Action, Drama, Comedy... I would be grateful to do any and all of it if someone is kind enough to hire me! I have such a wonderful time on The Originals though, because I get to play Rebekah in so many different periods. I'm a little spoiled.” IfsTryingKindLittlesDifferentEnoughPlayWould BeActionChallengesComedyWonderfulPeriodsDramaOriginalsGratefulDifferent ThingsBe GratefulSpoiledWonderful TimesTrying Different Things Author:Claire Holt
“I used to feel this need to prove to people that I can do something dramatic. But, the truth is that I don't know if I can. I don't think I have it in my skill set. It would be great, but I do love making comedies. It's been so much fun for me, and I hope that I can continue to do it.” PeopleIfsThinkingKnowsNeedsFeelsI CanWould BeUsedFunCan DoComedyTruth IsSkillsProveDramaticCan Do SomethingLove Making Author:Anna Faris
“The only way I'd want to do something in television would be if it was about how I think as a comedian. I'd need to be able to be a creator. That's what I enjoy - I enjoy coming up with comedy, so it'd be very difficult for me to be sitting in a room and have somebody come in and say, "Here's your script! Learn these lines!" That's not fun. At least not for me.” IfsThinkingWayWantNeedsWould BeAbleFunEnjoyDifficultLinesRoomsComedyTelevisionSittingScriptsCreatorComedian Author:Brian Regan
“I don't know what would be antithetical to do on the other side, maybe a Tyler Perry movie or something. No, there are very few comedies that live in between that. Or you're doing some kid thing like a Jim Carrey movie with animated something that's like that. Yeah, I've wanted to do them. I like doing them. I did Talk to Me. That was pretty much a comedy.” KnowsWould BeKidsWantedSidesComedyYeahAnimatedTalk To Me Author:Don Cheadle
“I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.” LongHumorWould BeFunnyComedyHavensTenCool Status Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I am completely open to doing a romantic comedy, but I will never do something just for the sake of doing a specific genre or because it's the time or place to do a different type of movie. I think that would be a huge mistake.” ThinkingDifferentWould BeMistakeComedyHugeTypeSakeGenre Author:Leonardo DiCaprio
“I think some people just don't know that much about comedy. It would be like a person who didn't know anything about football thinking all offensive linemen are the same.” PeopleThinkingKnowsPersonsWould BeComedyFootballOffensiveLinemanLinemenOffensive Lineman Author:Anthony Jeselnik
“My childhood was lonely. Both my parents were away a lot, working, and the maid basically raised me. And I think that's where a lot of my comedy comes from. Not only was the maid very funny and witty, but when my mother came home I'd use humour to try and get her attention. If I made mommy laugh, then maybe everything would be all right. I think that's where it [my comedy] all started.” IfsThinkingTryingMadeUseHomeWould BeMotherParentAttentionLaughingComedyChildhoodHumourLonelyRaisedWittyMaidsFunny And Witty Author:Robin Williams
“New York has made me so paranoid, too. Whenever I visit another city, I always act like I'm from there, so the cab driver doesn't rip me off. I'm always like, "Yeah, it's good to be back home. Back here where I grew up. Yeah. Here in Tokyo. ... Uh, driver, I need to go to my old stomping grounds. That would be the Holiday Inn. And the address appears to be the pound sign."” NeedsMadeHomeWould BeFunnyCitiesComedyNew YorkGrewGrew UpYeahAddressesHolidayPoundsDriversRipBack HomeParanoidCabTokyoInnsStompingCab Drivers Author:Jim Gaffigan
“Comedy is hard to do, and I don't know why it doesn't have its own category in awards. I don't understand why people think it's harder to do drama than it is to do comedy. It doesn't get respect. It's hard. It's really hard. It would be more gratifying to get something for a comedy, because it doesn't happen much or at all.” PeopleThinkingKnowsHardHappensWould BeComedyDramaHarderAwardsCategories Author:Leslie Mann
“Saturday Night Live was a show that I never thought I would be on, because I didn't do sketch comedy and I didn't do impressions. I was a stand-up.” ShowsWould BeNightComedyImpressionSaturdaySaturday NightSaturday Night LiveSketch Comedy Author:Kevin Nealon
“My sense of stand up comedy would be so esoteric.” Would BeComedyEsotericStand Up Comedy Author:Paul Rudd
“I'm not as serious of a person as people make me out to be. Most people would think that I would be less successful in comedy, but I can crack a joke as well as anyone else.” PeopleThinkingWellsPersonsI CanWould BeSuccessfulComedySeriousJokesCracks Author:T.I.
“I would be an idiot to say comedy is easy, but it does come naturally. It never feels forced.” FeelsDoeWould BeEasyComedyIdiot Author:Rashida Jones
“I got mugged. And they got my knapsack with my comedy notebook in it. So if anybody see two cholos bombing at the Funny Bone chain, that would be them. Just give me a jingle.” IfsGivingTwoWould BeComedyGive MeBonesChainsNotebookBombingJinglesFunny Bones Author:Janeane Garofalo
“There's a potter that lived back in the 1800s, in Biloxi, Mississippi, and his name was George Ohr. He was of Russian descent, but they called him the "Mad Potter of Biloxi." I'd love to do a great character study and comedy about that guy's life. That would be my dream role. I know it's an oddball thing, but it's true. He lived at the turn of the century, in the 1800s.” KnowsCharacterDreamWould BeGuyTurnsNamesRolesStudyComedyCenturyMadPottersThat GuyMississippiDescentGreat CharacterOddballs Author:Lance Henriksen
“People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.” PeopleMenSometimesWould BeUsedFunEasyComedyCrazyYeahAlternativesFlutesBeing FunnyCrazy Man Author:Eugene Mirman
“I listened to my first comedy album in 6th grade. It was Bill Cosby. My brother and I would play it over and over on a Fisher Price record player. A friend in high school also introduced me to Richard Pryor. I wasn't writing material back then, but I would say funny stuff. I was good at making fun of people's moms. If I knew something personal about you, it would be used against you.” PeopleIfsWritingFirstsPlayWould BeSchoolUsedFunStuffRecordsComedyPlayerBrotherMaterialsMomHigh SchoolBillsAlbumsMy BrotherGradesFunny StuffRecord Players Author:Felipe Esparza