Home / Topics / Comedy Quotes

Comedy Quotes

Browse 5773 quotes about Comedy.

Comedy Quotes

“Dramas need to have a certain aesthetic that comedy just doesn't really seem to need to have.”

Needs Seems Certain Comedy Drama Aesthetic

Author:Rob McElhenney

“I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.”

Needs Age Funny Comedy Aging Witty Need You Bladder Don't Need You I Don't Need You

Author:Stephen Fry

“The myriad-minded man, our, and all men's, Shakespeare, has in this piece presented us with a legitimate farce in exactest consonance with the philosophical principles and character of farce, as distinguished from comedy and from entertainments. A proper farce is mainly distinguished from comedy by the licence allowed, and even required, in the fable, in order to produce strange and laughable situations. The story need not be probable, it is enough that it is possible.”

Source: Shakespeare, With Introductory Matter on Poetry, The Drama, and The Stage by S.T. Coleridge: Coleridge’s Essays and Lectures on Shakespeare and Other Old Poets and Dramatists

“The comedy for the Democrats is that they're showing off too much. They need to be putting a boring white guy out there to kind of get a hold of things. Once the boring white guy is out there, then you bust out the junior senator from Illinois who smokes and does cocaine.”

Needs Kind Doe Guy White Comedy Too Much Democrat Boring Smoke Senators Juniors Cocaine Showing Off Illinois White Guys

Author:Tina Fey

“I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there.”

Thinking Needs Littles Real Wanted Comedy Activity Bed Real Life Less Is More

Author:Garry Shandling

“It's easier for me to get comedies made because of my track record. Everybody needs to find their niche. I love dramas, but I understand that I am still just a young man in moviemaking. I know there will be some time to get back to that.”

Knows Men Needs Made Stills Young Records Comedy Easier Drama Track Young Man Get Back Niche Track Record Love Drama

Author:Ice Cube

“In a business that has exploited and ignored our people I have only found dead-ends. We need romantic comedies, gross-out and mockery comedies, horror and thrillers, teen movies and love-stories. All these and more will be a positive step towards the future of Native Americans in the world and film industry; an industry that that offers us not only the chance to play the parts of heroes, love interests and warriors, but also of villains, dorks and dangerous, brokenhearted products of circumstance.”

“Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something.”

Needs Real Justice Comedy

Author:Elayne Boosler

“I asked Mr. Vann which O levels you need to write situation comedy for television. Mr. Vann said that you don't need qualifications at all, you just need to be a moron.”

Needs Writing Said Levels Situation Comedy Television Moron Qualifications

Book:Adrian Mole, from Minor to Major: The Mole Diaries : the First Ten Years

Source: Adrian Mole, from Minor to Major: The Mole Diaries : the First Ten Years

“The older I've gotten, the more the need to exert comedy no matter how tragic a character I may be portraying because they are essentials for presenting truth.”

Needs May Matter Character Comedy Essentials Tragic Presenting Portraying

Author:Ed Asner

“I came to the conclusion that in comedy, everybody gets what they need, whereas in horror, everybody gets what they deserve. I decided that at the end of the day, I was going to give everybody what they needed.”

Needs Giving Ends Comedy Needed Horror Deserve Decided Conclusion The End Of The Day

Author:Neil Gaiman

“Earlier I`ve done hatever I could get my hands on to do for a living. I tried a couple of different things, but kitchen work was the best for me, because I took to a nomadic lifestyle before I started doing comedy. If you travel and get to a town and need a job, restaurants are always there.”

Ifs Needs Different Done Hands Jobs Comedy Couple Towns Lifestyle Kitchen Restaurants Different Things Nomadic

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“I love Buster Keaton and I love physical comedy when it's done in an emotionally understated way. I just like to play it, and I need the attention.”

Way Needs Done Play Attention Comedy Busters Physical Comedy Understated

Author:Demetri Martin

“I think comedy directors tend to feel a need to justify the bad behavior, and I just never think that. I like bad behavior, I've always liked bad behavior, I'm a fan of bad behavior, and I don't think you have to justify bad behavior.”

Thinking Needs Feels Comedy Fans Directors Behavior Justify Bad Behavior

Author:Todd Phillips

“Once I was in college, I was actually trying to write a comedy screenplay and I wrote basically the worst movie ever and just threw it away and never showed anybody. Everyone needs to get that first bad screenplay out of your system before you start writing other stuff.”

Needs Writing Trying Firsts Stuff Comedy Worst College Screenplays Worst Movie

Author:Scot Armstrong

“I do think comedy needs to be a living thing, but I think without a great script and fully realized characters, you cannot keep it living. Otherwise it just becomes long and rambling indulgent.”

Thinking Needs Long Character Comedy Scripts Living Things Rambling

Author:Melissa McCarthy

“If you're gonna tell a story from beginning to end, I always think you have to have a great structure in a script. If it gets you excited and it's something you've never read before that's another plus. I think also with improv and that whole world of stand-up, that's a whole other organism of comedy that still needs a story, but it's more free-form. On the set, it is the combination of both those worlds coming together: a great script and an allowance to play with it.”

Ifs Thinking World Needs Stills Ends Play Whole Stories Together Form Comedy Structure Scripts Excited Whole World Combination Plus Organisms Coming Together Allowance

Author:Sandra Bullock

“What's with the poverty Tourette's? Why do these two think we need a hobo for president?”

Thinking Needs Two Reality Politics President Money Class Poverty Comedy Strategy Voting Tourettes Hobos

Author:Jon Stewart

“To all the young people out there who think money and fame is important: that's only a small piece of the pie. You need an education to be totally secure in life. I feel very secure I can go get a real job now.”

People Thinking Needs Feels I Can Important Real Wisdom Jobs Young Leadership Money Education Comedy Pieces Fame Secure Ideology Pie Real Jobs Small Pieces Money And Fame

Author:Shaquille O'Neal

“There is material among us for the broadest comedies and the deepest tragedies, but, besides money and leisure, it needs patience, perseverance, courage, and the hand of an artist to weave it into the literature of the country.”

Needs Country Hands Artist Literature Comedy Materials Tragedy Perseverance Leisure

Book:Iola Leroy (EasyRead Large Edition)

Source: Iola Leroy (EasyRead Large Edition)

“But if you stagnate, the growth is over. I have done many comedy films. Success of films like Partner, Singh is Kinng gets you to a very wide audience reach. But for greater gains, you need to take greater gambles. If it works, you get respect and recognition.”

Ifs Needs Done Film Growth Audience Comedy Greater Gains Wide Partners Recognition Gamble Singh

Author:Katrina Kaif

“I used to feel this need to prove to people that I can do something dramatic. But, the truth is that I don't know if I can. I don't think I have it in my skill set. It would be great, but I do love making comedies. It's been so much fun for me, and I hope that I can continue to do it.”

People Ifs Thinking Knows Needs Feels I Can Would Be Used Fun Can Do Comedy Truth Is Skills Prove Dramatic Can Do Something Love Making

Author:Anna Faris

“I think everything needs to be played real, for reality's sake, for truth. And that is the drama and the comedy. When you do that, it's funnier. And when you do that, you really do hit the emotional beats. I do it the same way as I do a drama. I just play it for truth, and then maybe have a little bit of fun with it sometimes.”

Thinking Way Needs Littles Real Sometimes Play Reality Fun Bits Comedy Emotional Drama Little Bit Beats Sake

Author:Jennifer Lopez

“The only way I'd want to do something in television would be if it was about how I think as a comedian. I'd need to be able to be a creator. That's what I enjoy - I enjoy coming up with comedy, so it'd be very difficult for me to be sitting in a room and have somebody come in and say, "Here's your script! Learn these lines!" That's not fun. At least not for me.”

Ifs Thinking Way Want Needs Would Be Able Fun Enjoy Difficult Lines Rooms Comedy Television Sitting Scripts Creator Comedian

Author:Brian Regan

“I think a lot of the romantic comedies need to catch up with what's actually kind of happening.”

Thinking Needs Kind Comedy Happenings

Author:Elizabeth Meriwether

“If I'm not directing it, I need to be right in the director's ear so we can be talking about this." You do something like use the wrong music, the tone's off, and everything feels off". And I was like, "I'm not going down with this one. I wrote it, but I don't like that play." Then I thought, "Well, no one's producing my stuff, letting me star in it, and direct it at these theaters, so I'll just do them in comedy clubs."”

Ifs Needs Feels Wells Play Use Stars Stuff Talking Comedy Directors Direct Ears Theater Clubs Tone Comedy Clubs

Author:Jake M. Johnson

“I guess there are no real strict rules [in comedy], but I just learn to apply my philosophy about comedy which is, it's a serious business and the result needs to be funny, not the process.”

Needs Real Philosophy Process Results Comedy Serious Strict Serious Business Strict Rules

Author:Christoph Waltz

“A silly comedy needs a straight guy, and that guy needs to be as straight as possible. The moment you start playing straight you're not straight anymore, you're bent straight, so it really requires the usual serious, straight-forward analysis and research, looking into it and finding the dramatic function, all of what you do until you feel you've collected enough points to safely and securely play the part.”

Needs Feels Enough Play Moments Guy Comedy Serious Findings Research Function Silly Analysis Dramatic Usual Bent That Guy

Author:Christoph Waltz

“I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.”

Needs Humor Funny Sex Comedy Saved Addict Heroines Having Sex Sex Drive Sex Maniac

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“[At Boston College] I started working on the kinds of skills that you need for comedy. It's about being creative and learning to use your gift for being able to let loose and be very unself-conscious. It took me time though before I was really able to get comfortable doing that.”

Needs Kind Use Able Creative Comedy College Skills Comfortable Conscious Be Creative Boston

Author:Amy Poehler

“I don't care if I tell that story and John Roderick gets up afterward and yells, 'I hope you enjoyed the white privilege, mortality comedy of John Hodgman!' That's me!" I'm going to play a sad Handsome Family song at the end and I guarantee you everyone is going to love it because, sometimes, you need a grown man or woman to tell you what you like.”

Ifs Men Needs Ends Sometimes Play Stories Care Song White Comedy Privilege Don't Care Get Up Enjoyed I Don't Care Guarantees Mortality Handsome White Privilege Grown Man

Author:John Hodgman

“People need to write articles and they need to have angles in them and I'm grateful when people are doing articles, but I always say there's not a great mystery to stand-up comedy.”

People Needs Writing Comedy Mystery Grateful Articles Angle Stand Up Comedy

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.”

People Needs Earth Funny Moving Comedy Figures Piano

Author:Woody Allen

“New York has made me so paranoid, too. Whenever I visit another city, I always act like I'm from there, so the cab driver doesn't rip me off. I'm always like, "Yeah, it's good to be back home. Back here where I grew up. Yeah. Here in Tokyo. ... Uh, driver, I need to go to my old stomping grounds. That would be the Holiday Inn. And the address appears to be the pound sign."”

Needs Made Home Would Be Funny Cities Comedy New York Grew Grew Up Yeah Addresses Holiday Pounds Drivers Rip Back Home Paranoid Cab Tokyo Inns Stomping Cab Drivers

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“How about those people who don't need sleep? What are they called again? Successful? What a bunch of dicks they are.”

People Needs Funny Sleep Successful Comedy Bunch Need Sleep

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in there. Big red letters said, "Do not eat." Do they really need that stuff in them boots? Is there really some dude opening a pair of boots goin', "Boy, look at them boots. What the hell? I better eat that. I don't know what the hell that is."”

Knows Needs Looks Said Bigs Funny Stuff Boys Hell Comedy Red Letters Opening Pairs Boots

Author:Larry the Cable Guy

“I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I'm lazy-but I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know, I could go for a sandwich-but, uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. Cleaning, who knows how many knives!?"”

Knows Needs Kind Mean I Can Two Funny Guy Know How Saws Comedy Stores Opening All Kinds Lazy Knives Cleaning Closing Sandwiches Jars Peanuts Jelly Peanut Butter Peanut Butter And Jelly

Author:Brian Regan

“I only lie for sex or money or to practice for when I need to lie for sex or money.”

Needs Funny Lying Sex Practice Comedy

Author:Stephen Schneider

“It's the same kind of preparation you do for something like this you do for anything. It doesn't matter if it's a drama or a comedy, the need to get the emotion and the character arc across is way harder in something like this so was more of a preparation.”

Ifs Way Needs Kind Matter Character Emotion Comedy Drama Harder Preparation Arcs

Author:Jessica Biel

“It doesn't matter if it's a drama or a comedy, the need to get the emotion and the character arc across is way harder in something like this so was more of a preparation.”

Ifs Way Needs Matter Character Emotion Comedy Drama Harder Preparation Arcs

Author:Colin Farrell

“We are in desperate need of a well-done romantic lesbian comedy.”

Needs Wells Done Comedy Desperate Romantic Love Well Done

Author:Jill Bennett

“I've done some movies because I would regret them if I didn't, but other projects I've done because they've scared me or if I felt I needed to do a big romantic comedy to help me professionally. Then I'll take a teeny movie when I need to work on myself and become a better actor.”

Ifs Needs Done Helping Bigs Actors Felt Comedy Regret Needed Projects Scared Help Me

Author:Ginnifer Goodwin

“I see parody as another form of comedy. If you are making a comedy, there are a lot of different ways to do it. I'm not necessarily always aware of my quote-unquote persona when doing things like that. It's more, "What does the character need at the time?" I'm certainly drawn to certain types of material, there's no doubt about that.”

Ifs Way Needs Doe Different Character Form Certain Doubt Comedy Materials Type Different Ways No Doubt Persona Parody

Author:Bruce Campbell

“I think you need to have the guts to not use comedy. Often, the people that work in comedy use a joke to avoid contemplation.”

People Thinking Needs Use Comedy Jokes Contemplation Guts

Author:Steve Coogan

“I challenged myself to write/direct a romantic comedy. People trash talk the rom com, but it's one of the oldest cinematic genres, with stellar origins like Twentieth Century and Trouble in Paradise. I think as audiences lost their innocence, the genre lost its suspense. To create suspense, you need obstacles, so I gave my couple an obstacle that very few people ever overcome: their own behavior and their past.”

“There are advances in technology and enabling voices, but there are issues with the stories themselves. I think people of color are still not seen as human beings. They're still associated with types, with comedy, but we're in a crisis right now, with things like Black Lives Matter. We need films that address these issues.”

People Thinking Needs Humans Stills Matter Stories Film Black Voice Human Beings Technology Issues Comedy Color Type Right Now Crisis Addresses Black Lives Matter Enabling Black Lives

Author:Charles Burnett

“In comedy you feel you need to go back to the theatre every now and again, you feel you need to go back to an audience every now and again to see if you're still getting your craft right, making people laugh at the moments you think they should and that sort of thing.”

People Ifs Thinking Needs Feels Should Stills Moments Audience Laughing Comedy Theatre Crafts Making People Laugh

Author:Mathew Baynton

“Everybody needs some good sketch comedy.”

Needs Comedy Sketch Comedy

Author:Bob Odenkirk

“Comedy is the only profession where love from a stranger is better than love from a family member. You need to perform for strangers to see if you're really funny. If they laugh and cheer, it's the greatest thing in the world.”

Ifs World Needs Laughing Comedy Members Stranger Profession Cheer Family Members

Book:Jay Leno's How to Be the Funniest Kid in the Whole Wide World (or Just in Your

Source: Jay Leno's How to Be the Funniest Kid in the Whole Wide World (or Just in Your

“Spies have the same kinds of needs and desires that everybody does, which is funny. The best kind of comedy derives from that kind of truth.”

Needs Kind Doe Desire Comedy Spy

Author:Matt Nix