Home / Topics / Humorous Quotes

Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of laughter streaming down their faces. The event set a record for hilarious civic functions, smashing the previous record set when Baron Hans Neizant B ompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K oln in 1653.”

Faces Records Events Tears Laughter Humorous Function Squares Civics Streaming Smashing

Author:Mike Harding

“In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways. Our symptotes no longer out of phase, We shall encounter, counting, face to face.”

Way Faces Space Humorous Encounters Phases Counting Face To Face Riemann

Book:The Cyberiad

Source: The Cyberiad

“Nobody is excused from the excellence trend. Babies are not excused. Starting right after they get out of the womb, modern babies are exposed to instructional flashcards designed to make them the best babies they can possibly be, so they can get into today's competitive preschools. Your eighties baby sees so many flashcards that he never gets an unobstructed view of his parents' faces. As an adult, he'll carry around a little wallet card that says "7x9=63," because it will remind him of mother.”

Children Littles Humor Kids Today Funny Faces Mother Parent Views Modern Baby Humorous Adults Excellence Starting Cards Trends Exposed Womb Eighty Wallets

Author:Dave Barry

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”

Ifs Two Humor Funny Faces Powerful Grace Humorous Drinking Witty Insightful Political Humor Great Presidents Off The Wall

Author:Abraham Lincoln

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”

“Part of the reason for the ugliness of adults, in a child's eyes, is that the child is usually looking upwards, and few faces are at their best when seen from below.”

Children Reason Eye Faces Time Humorous Adults Parenting Adulthood Ugliness

Book:A Collection of Essays

Source: A Collection of Essays

“Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.”

Real Faces Humorous Staring Deadline

Author:Rick Riordan

“If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.”

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.”

“I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.”

Children Humor Kids Funny Faces Baby Humorous Glasses Spit

Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

Source: The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

“If ignorance is bliss, then knock the smile off my face...”

Ifs Faces Ignorance Humorous Profound Insane Bliss Ignorance Is Bliss Rage Against The Machine If Ignorance Is Bliss

Author:Zack de la Rocha