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Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.”

Wells Facts Humor Government Funny Law Wonderful Goes On Humorous Italian

Author:Lord Byron

“It is considered in England and the United States that the Government of South Africa is altogether too harsh with its native peoples. It is sadly humorous to notice that the native in South Africa, however, holds an exactly reverse opinion and the fault he finds with the South African Government is that it is far too lenient in its administration of laws throughout the native populace.”

States Government Law United Opinion United States Humorous England Faults South Administration Native South Africa Reverse Harsh Lenient

Author:L. Ron Hubbard

“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.”

Government Political Politics Party Liberty Republican Prove Humorous Democrat Remove Smarter Lawns Prove It Urban Planning

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

“A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.”

“I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.”

Source: Napalm & Silly Putty

“It is dangerous to be right in matters where established men are wrong.”

“Pro and con are opposites, that fact is clearly seen. If progress means to move forward, then what does congress mean?”

Ifs Mean Doe Facts Humor Government Funny Moving Political Progress Humorous Opposites Congress Moving Forward Comedian Pros And Cons

Author:Nipsey Russell

“Government is like junior high. Your status depends upon whom you're able to persecute.”

Government Able Depends Humorous Sarcastic Juniors Junior High

Book:The Web: An Alex Delaware Novel

Source: The Web: An Alex Delaware Novel

“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Source: Churchill By Himself

“I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.”

Believe Humor Government Funny Politics I Believe Humorous Witty Sex And Death

Author:Woody Allen

“The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, and there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence. Yet, government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.”

Government Prayer Lord Humorous Independence Profound Insane Addresses Regulation Declaration Declaration Of Independence Cabbage Government Regulation Gettysburg Gettysburg Address

Author:David McIntosh

“The principal purpose of the Democratic Party is to use the force of government to take property away from the people who earn it and give it to people who do not.”

People Giving Use Government Purpose Literature Force Party Republican Humorous Property Democratic Democrat Principal Democratic Party

Author:Neal Boortz

“A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.”

“The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.”

Bigs Government Funny America Differences Tvs Humorous England

Author:Bob Hope