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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.”

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Author:Zsa Zsa Gabor
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“So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. What! no soap? So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Grand Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all fell to playing the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of their boots.”

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Author:Samuel Foote
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“I think the definition of someone who's still a swinger is a person who remains signed up on swinger websites because they're "humorous." If you'd been married to an alcoholic and found yourself dating someone whose couch cushions were stuffed with empty bottles, you might conclude you're part of the problem and are attracted to men who are going to keep making you miserable in the same oh-so-familiar way. I think you should look to date someone for whom the idea of a swinger website makes him want to slather himself in sanitizing gel.”

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Author:Emily Yoffe
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“My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.”

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Author:Jack Benny
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“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?”

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Author:Barbra Streisand
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