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Funny Wedding Quotes

Browse 59 quotes about Funny Wedding.

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Funny Wedding Quotes

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”

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Author:Benjamin Franklin
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“A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join.”

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Book:Selected writings of Elbert Hubbard: his mintage of wisdom, coined from a life of love, laughter and work
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“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.”

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Author:Lyndon B. Johnson
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“Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.”

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Book:The Snake Has All the Lines
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“The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.”

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Author:Gabriel Garcia Marquez
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“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”

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Author:Groucho Marx
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“A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.”

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Author:Andre Maurois
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“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.”

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Author:Michel de Montaigne
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“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

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Author:Rita Rudner
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“Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.”

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Book:I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething
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“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?”

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Author:Barbra Streisand
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“One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.”

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Book:Love and Guilt and the Meaning of Life, Etc.
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“Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.”

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Author:Erma Bombeck
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“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.”

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Author:Robert Fulghum
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“My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.”

IfsYearsFirstsMotherMarriageCoupleMarriedPotMaking LovePenniesFunny MarriagePositive MarriageMarried CouplesMarriage HumorFunny WeddingFunny Wedding AdviceFirst Year Marriage
Book:Tales of the city ; More tales of the city ; Further tales of the city: an omnibus
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“I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.”

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Book:Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker
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“The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.”

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Book:1000 Stories and Illustrations for All Occasions
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“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.”

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Author:Agatha Christie
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