Best jokes & people Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings Page 2

“People have a comic bent or an angularity to their thinking, and those are the people who make jokes. And it's usually people who were in an environment, when they were young, where jokes were at a premium, or at least considered important to a life. My parents always listened to the comedy radio shows, we went to the comedy movies, and my parents appreciated comedy. So kids listen and follow what their parents like.”

People Thinking Important Shows Kids Young Parent Environment Comedy Jokes Radio Comic Bent Appreciated Premium Comedy Movie

Author:Carl Reiner

“I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.”

People Ifs Fun Jokes England

Author:Bill Burr

“I do a few jokes about the economy but from an everyday person perspective. People like to laugh, and they especially like to laugh during difficult circumstances.”

People Persons Difficult Laughing Economy Perspective Circumstances Jokes Everyday Difficult Circumstances

Author:Brian Regan

“I try to be careful and put things in perspective. There are people who have challenging lives and work hard physically and mentally. I consider myself a lucky person because I get to go on stage and tell jokes for an hour. If I miss a connection here and there or my room isn't ready now and then? It's not a big deal.”

“On Twitter, when someone would die, I would write a joke. Or if there's a tragedy, I would write a joke and tweet it. That was my thing, and then at a certain point, people started demanding it.”

People Ifs Writing Certain Dies Jokes Tragedy Tweet

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I want people to just be paying attention even if they're not necessarily laughing at something, or if it takes them a while to get something, I don't mind that. If half the crowd gets the joke and the other half is sitting there scratching their heads, that's just as good for me if I like the joke, because I feel like it just brings people in more.”

People Ifs Want Feels Mind Attention Half Laughing Jokes Sitting Crowds Pay Attention Other Half

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“Rush hour brings out the worst in some people. They make faces, gesture, yell, call names, bump you with their car, and lean on their horn over the slightest perception that they are right and you are wrong. If you take any of these signals seriously, you can be hurt every time you drive. If you cannot crack a joke within a few minutes of rear-ending someone on the freeway, don't go out there.”

People Ifs Faces Names Hours Hurt Minutes Worst Car Perception Jokes Driving Cracks Gestures Signals Horns Bumps Freeways Rush Hour

Author:Jennifer James

“Are my characters copies of people in real life? ... Don't ever believe the stories about authors putting people into novels. That idea is a kind of joke on both authors and readers. All the readers believe that authors do it. All the authors know that it can't be done.”

People Knows Believe Kind Ideas Real Done Character Stories Novel Reader Jokes Real Life Copies

Book:Letters of Ayn Rand

Source: Letters of Ayn Rand

“Sometimes you go up to people who look totally normal and then you talk to them for a few seconds and you are like, Oh I better get out of this, because this person is a little mentally unbalanced, and they are not going to get a joke.”

People Looks Littles Persons Sometimes Normal Jokes Seconds Unbalanced

Author:Billy Eichner

“I have "come back" [to music scene] so many times, people are just like, Is this another one?... It's kind of like a joke to me now.”

People Kind Scene Jokes

Author:Britney Spears

“I don't want people to leave the show being upset. So if I am trying to do a new joke, and sometimes I will talk about things like gun control or hostile massacre and I notice people being upset I will change the direction.”

People Ifs Want Trying Sometimes Shows Jokes Gun Upset Gun Control Hostile Massacres

Author:Jim Jefferies

“I don't take jokes from other people. It's really not cool to steal jokes from anybody. It's not cool to steal anything from anybody. Jokes are no different.”

People Different Jokes Stealing

Author:Brian Regan

“The one thing I've found you really can't joke about - and people think it's death or something - is money. No one thinks it's funny, whether you have it or you don't. Money is just something no one seems to like joking about.”

People Thinking Seems Found One Thing Jokes Found You

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“There is nothing that's off limits. If people think something is off limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it; that's my job.”

People Ifs Thinking Jobs Limits Jokes

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“Tell people the truth, they laugh. The truth is so tragic they have to pretend it's a joke.”

People Truth Laughing Truth Is Jokes Tragic

Author:Lucille Kallen

“I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.”

People Trying Stories Artist Laughing Jokes Making People Laugh Inappropriate

Author:Kathy Griffin

“You have to understand that people feel threatened by a writer. It's very curious. He knows something they don't know. He knows how to write, and that's a subtle, disturbing quality he has. Some directors without even knowing it, resent the writer in the same way Bob Hope might resent the fact he ain't funny without twelve guys writing the jokes. The director knows the script he is carrying around on the set every day was written by someone, and that's just not something that all directors easily digest.”

People Knows Way Feels Writing Facts Might Guy Quality Know How Knowing Written Directors Jokes Scripts Curious Subtle Twelve Bob Threatened Disturbing Resent

Author:Ernest Lehman

“What makes a good animated movie is being able to balance adult and knowing in-jokes and also just out and out funny things that make all people laugh. The idea that it's actually something that will appeal to a family, that's the trick.”

People Ideas Able Laughing Knowing Balance Jokes Adults Tricks Appeals Funny Things Animated Animated Movies

Author:Benedict Cumberbatch

“It's harder when people are playing along, because it's just not as funny. They're trying to be funny, and it sort of cancels out the whole joke.”

People Trying Whole Jokes Harder

Author:Steve Carell

“In all of Western civilization, there have been societies that celebrating the homosexuality, the ancient Greeks. But they, in fact, protected the institution of marriage as a union between one man and one woman. They got the joke. And the American people get the joke.”

People Men Has Beens Facts Civilization Jokes Institutions Unions Western Ancient Celebrate Greek One Man Protected Homosexuality One Woman Western Civilization Ancient Greek

Author:Ken Blackwell

“It's hard to describe to people how terrible it was when you could only watch cartoons at a certain time in your life. But no, I would watch all of them - the Warner Bros. cartoons and the Bugs Bunnys and then the Tex Avery stuff. Looking back on it, they were so incredibly subversive for their time. You'd think, "Oh, they're just making jokes and this or that." But when you watch them as an adult, you think, "Oh no, they were talking about some pretty deep stuff."”

People Thinking Hard Certain Stuff Talking Watches Terrible Jokes Adults Looking Back Cartoon Bugs Subversive Bros Warner Bros

Author:Jon Hamm

“Even during the promotion I told people that I didn't like Rush Hour. The jokes I didn't understand and the fighting, compared to my Hong Kong films was terrible. A lot of people didn't like it. But mostly people did like it, they really liked it. Rush Hour really brought me to the American family audience.”

People Film Fighting Hours Audience Terrible Jokes Old People Promotion Hong Kong American Family Rush Hour

Author:Jackie Chan

“I always wore cowboy boots and drove a truck, and talked like this. So everywhere I would go in comedy people would say, "Foxworthy, you ain't nothing but a redneck from Georgia!" It kind of became a formula joke.”

People Kind Comedy Jokes Formulas Boots Cowboy Truck Redneck Georgia Cowboy Boot

Author:Jeff Foxworthy

“[There's] a joke that I've done forever: 'Nowadays they say that the largest majority of people will be Latino and you'll tell scary stories to your grandkids: "A long time ago when I was growing up, there used to be people who were white," and the kid says, "Really?" and you say, "Yeah, like the man who cuts our grass."' I've had that line forever and I love it.”

People Men Long Done Stories Kids Used Lines White Forever Growing Up Cutting Growing He Man Long Time Jokes Yeah Majority Scary Used To Be Grass Long Time Ago Latino Grandkids Scary Stories

Author:George Lopez

“I'm not sure I'd classify any topics as off-limits, but I don't look for new territories to offend. There's my joke about when my roommate beat cancer. People talk about cancer survivors like they're warriors, but from where I was sitting, she was just watching television and eating soup. Like, did she go to war? No. She kind of just sat around.”

“The State trained us to make other people's terrible jokes work, which is the other part of the game when you're here.”

People States Games Terrible Jokes

Author:Robert Ben Garant

“People think I'll kill you if you make a joke. I compare it to Clint Eastwood. I've only seen Clint Eastwood in movies. You think if you make a joke to Eastwood, he might shoot you.”

People Ifs Thinking Might Jokes Compare

Author:Ice T

“Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to.”

People Jokes Appreciate

Author:Matt Groening

“People have lost their sense of humor. In former times, we constantly made jokes about different races.”

People Made Different Lost Race Jokes Former Sense Of Humor Different Races

Author:Clint Eastwood

“Our solution on 'The Simpsons' is to do jokes that people who have an education, or some frame of reference, can get. And for the ones who don't, it doesn't matter, because we have Homer banging his head and saying, 'D'oh!'”

People Matter Solutions Jokes Banging Frame Of Reference

Author:Matt Groening

“I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.”

People Used Jokes Explaining

Author:Gilbert Gottfried

“I love doing theaters, cracking people up, hearing them physically roll in the aisles. But we need to get serious. These are serious times. No joke. No joke.”

People Needs Serious Jokes Theater Hearing Aisle

Author:James Gandolfini

“Even if its a white crowd, I tell my jokes for the four black people in the room, not the 100 whites.”

People Ifs Black White Rooms Four Jokes Crowds Black People

Author:Gary Owen

“I don't do plays without jokes anymore. I've retired from those plays. I think it's bad manners to invite people to sit in the dark for two and a half hours and not tell them the joke.”

People Thinking Two Play Hours Dark Half Jokes Manners Invites Retired Half Hours Bad Manners

Author:Bill Nighy

“I love telling stories, telling jokes, making people laugh. Ive got no plans to stop doing it.”

People Stories Laughing Plans Jokes Making People Laugh Telling Stories

Author:David Alan Basche

“My husband jokes that I'll invite people over for dinner and he won't know who they are or where I met them. But in my work world, I've never really been tempted to tell too much of my story.”

People Knows World Stories Too Much Mets Husband Jokes Dinner My Husband Invites Tempted

Author:Carrie-Anne Moss

“I love jokes that come out of nowhere. The ones where people look at the screen and go, What the Hell was that. As long as it somehow ties back into the story, somehow.”

People Looks Long Stories Hell Jokes Screens Ties

Author:Allen Covert

“To have a reputation for being noble, she thought, is more confining than to be known as a wit. On the rare days when a comedian has no jokes, people pardon the lapse. There is no forgiving a saint's occasional day of sin.”

People Sin Known Jokes Perfection Forgiving Saint Noble Wit Reputation Comedian Occasional Pardon Lapses

Book:The hills of Beverly

Source: The hills of Beverly

“Ninety-nine percent is in the delivery. If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you're not telling jokes.”

People Ifs Enough Three Voice Realizing Lines Laughing Jokes Percent Nine Pounds Say Anything Three Times Ninety Making People Laugh Delivery Cocky Ninety Nine

Author:Buddy Hackett

“Listen: People are always saying, 'Rickey says Rickey.' But it's been blown way out of proportion. People might catch me, when they know I'm ticked off, saying, 'Rickey, what the heck are you doing, Rickey?' They say, 'Darn, Rickey, what are you saying Rickey for? Why don't you just say, 'I?' But I never did. I always said, 'Rickey,' and it become something for people to joke about.”

People Knows Way Said Might Jokes Proportion Catch Me

Author:Rickey Henderson

“I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past. Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldnt be the bad guy in the joke; he couldnt upset people, really.”

People Different Past Guy Voice Written Jokes Priorities Upset Bad Guys Jimmy Different Voices

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“When we make jokes about being lazy, or things that look like we're lazy parents, we don't want to make it appear like we're not also incredibly hardworking people when it comes to striving at our vocational things. I do think it's a conversation, but a lot of times, you make sacrifices for the sake of jokes, or for the sake of a scene.”

People Thinking Want Looks Parent Sacrifice Scene Conversation Jokes Strive Sake Lazy Hardworking Being Lazy

Author:Lucas Neff

“When I started in television, it was brand new. It was the miracle over in the corner of your room. Now the audience has seen every story line. People have heard every joke. They can predict the plot almost before a show starts. That's a hard, sophisticated audience to reach.”

People Hard Stories Shows Lines Rooms Audience Heard Television Jokes Miracle Corners Brands Plot Sophisticated Brand New Your Room

Author:Betty White

“The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can't seem to come up with anything new that's funny. That's a tough place to be as a comedian.”

People Writing Seems Laughing Jokes Tough Sick Come Up Comedian Only Time Making People Laugh

Author:Bill Burr

“Ever since I was little, people would always make jokes about my low voice. But I think it's so cool that you don't have to have the picture-perfect, girly voice to do an animated film. I think it's great for kids with different voices to know that they could do something like this.”

People Thinking Knows Littles Different Kids Film Voice Perfect Lows Jokes Animated Girly Different Voices Animated Films Picture Perfect

Author:Miley Cyrus

“The art world is the biggest joke going. It's a rest home for the overprivileged, the pretentious, and the weak. And modern art is a disgrace - never have so many people used so much stuff and taken so long to say so little.”

People World Littles Long Art Home Used Stuff Taken Modern Jokes Art Is Weak Disgrace Pretentious Art World Modern Art

Author:Banksy

“Somehow people have been sold on the idea that only professionals can entertain them, that only professionals can sing or tell jokes. And people are cut out of this creativity loop, and creativity is being limited to these large, centralized voices.”

People Has Beens Ideas Voice Creativity Cutting Jokes Loops

Author:Chuck Palahniuk

“Although I knew enough Freud to believe that the sex urge was an important mainspring of life, it still seemed to me that any conscious manifestation of sex was necessarily ludicrous. Defecation and copulation were two activities which made a human being totally ridiculous. At least the former could be conducted in private, but the latter by definition demanded a partner. I discovered, though, that whenever I ventured this opinion, people took it as a joke.”

People Believe Humans Made Stills Two Important Enough Sex Human Beings Opinion Activity Jokes Conscious Definitions Partners Ridiculous Former Manifestation Latter Urges

Author:Paul Bowles

“The jokes I used to do on 'Sex and the City' were always comic character things, and they were rarely hard jokes. As soon as you go up in front of people, it demands laughter.”

People Hard Character Used Sex Cities Fronts Demand Laughter Jokes Comic Sex And The City

Author:Michael Patrick King

“Theres no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or a failure or ugly or stupid or morally empty.”

People Thinking Feels Stupid Amount Jokes Empty Ugly Feel Better Think Of You Hacks

Author:Patrick Stump

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