Best jokes & want Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings Page 3

“In college I took an acting class as a joke. It sounded like something fun and easy at the time. I had originally wanted to go to art school, but I gave all that up because I didn't want to be a starving artist.”

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Author:Michael Graziadei

“I want to get that same feeling that everybody logging on to our website is sharing a little bit of an inside joke, and the rest of the world is oblivious to it although I want to have most of the world.”

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Author:Stan Lee

“People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to write jokes about the absurdity that we see in government and the world and all that, and that's it.”

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Author:Jon Stewart

“I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one...”

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Author:Marilyn Monroe

“People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.”

People Ifs Want Looks Heart Bigs Mines Jokes Assuming Obvious Breasts Bosoms

Author:Dolly Parton

“Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.”

Want Parent Jokes Parenting Motherhood Host Thank God

Author:Joan Rivers

“Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.”

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Author:Jeff Ross

“I always joke and say I want to invent a comfortable stiletto and then retire.”

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Author:Sara Blakely

“The audience today has heard every joke. They know every plot. They know where you're going before you even start. That's a tough audience to surprise, and a tough audience to write for. It's much more competitive now, because the audience is so much more - I want to say sophisticated.”

Knows Want Writing Today Audience Heard Jokes Tough Surprise Plot Sophisticated

Author:Betty White

“My friends are people who like building cool stuff. We always have this joke about people who want to just start companies without making something valuable. There's a lot of that in Silicon Valley.”

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Author:Mark Zuckerberg

“In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes into their face.”

People Want Two Whole Faces Listening Projects Jokes Back And Forth

Author:John Oliver

“White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I want a real change. People, I want a president who speaks well, who has a sense of humor. This guy is such a moron! It's beyond the point where it's a joke. He's an idiot.”

People Men Want Wells Different Real Country Guy Speak Black President White Jokes Female Idiot Sense Of Humor White Man This Guy Want Something Moron Real Change

Author:Denis Leary

“Oh, so that's why you're up here. For a pity party." "This isn't a joke. I'm serious." I could tell Lissa was getting angry. It was trumping her earlier distress. He shrugged and leaned casually against the sloping wall. "So am I. I love pity parties. I wish I'd brought the hats. What do you want to mope about first? How it's going to take you a whole day to be popular and loved again? How you'll have to wait a couple weeks before Hollister can ship out some new clothes? If you spring for rush shipping, it might not be so long.”

Source: Vampire Academy 10th Anniversary Edition

“The joke's on them. One little hypodermic wont' be enough. Split a piece of wood, and they'll find me. Lift up a stone, and they'll find me. Look in the mirror, and they'll find me...If you really want to know what makes someone a killer, ask yourself what would make you do it.”

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Book:Change of Heart: A Novel

Source: Change of Heart: A Novel

“I don't want to go and start trying to make jokes in places like India, Tanzania or Iraq. Afghanistan is not a funny place.”

Want Trying Jokes India Iraq Afghanistan Tanzania

Author:Bill Bryson

“We don't want to lose you Lord Rahl. We don't want to go back to way things were." She sounded on the verge of tears. "We like being able to do simple things, like make a joke, and laugh. We could never do such things before. We always lived in fear that if we said the wrong thing we would be beaten, or worse. Now that we have seen another way, we don't want to go back to that. If you throw your life away for the Midlands, then we will.- Cara”

Ifs Way Want Said Would Be Able Loses Simple Lord Laughing Tears Jokes Beaten Another Way Wrong Things Simple Things Verge

Book:Blood Of The Fold

Source: Blood Of The Fold

“What’ cha doing out here all alone? Did you forget how to find Sanctuary? (Simi) No. I want to be alone for a bit. (Gallagher) Why? Were the bears mean to you? Mama can get a bit cranky whenever I play with the cubs. She thinks I’m going to eat one, but bleh! They’re way too hairy. Now if she’d let me skin one, I might be interested. (Simi) Are you joking? (Gallagher) Oh no. I never joke about hairy food. (Simi)”

Ifs Thinking Way Want Mean Play Might Bits Forget Bears Jokes Skins Let Me Mama Sanctuary All Alone Cubs Cranky Gallagher Wants To Be Alone

Author:Sherrilyn Kenyon

“Take care, Jeffy. I’ll see you soon, right? Just remember not to throw food at the nurses. I don’t want to get any complaint calls, OK? Steven, I don’t throw food at…oh, that was a joke, right? Yup, buddy boy. It was a joke. But seriously, no kissing the nurses on the lips, either. It messes up their makeup. Eeeeeeewwwww!”

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Book:Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie

Source: Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie

“But while I'd be their daughter, while I'd eat the roast and come home from dates and wash the dishes, I would also be myself. I would love my mother, but I'd never want to be her again. I would never be what someone else wanted me to be. I would never laugh at a joke I didn't think was funny. I would never tell another lie. I would be the truth-teller, starting today. That would be tough. But I was tougher.”

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Book:What I Saw and How I Lied

Source: What I Saw and How I Lied

“Keep your shirt on," she said with a laugh at her bad joke. "Your clothes are at the laundry. They'll deliver them as soon as they're ready." "And in the meantime?" "Looks like you're naked." His jaw worked as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I beg your pardon?" "Beg all you want, you're still going to be naked." Tabitha paused at the wicked image in her mind. "Come to think of it, a gorgeous, begging, naked man… that's the stuff of fantasies. Begging won't get you your clothes, but it could get you something else." She wiggled her eyebrows at him.”

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Author:Sherrilyn Kenyon

“Cal," I whisper into her sleep, "if you go, you know what? You'll break my liver." I want to pretend that it's a joke, that she will wake up and laugh with me, throwing her head back the way she did last night, bit this time the words are true . . . she will break my liver, break my heart, kill everything inside alive inside me.”

Ifs Knows Way Want Heart Lasts Night Bits Sleep Break Laughing Alive My Heart Jokes Wake Up Throwing Last Night Liver Breaking My Heart

Author:Brad Barkley

“Rick said, "Is there some place we can go and talk?" "You want to talk?," Keir raised an eyebrow. "I never thought I'd see the day." "Nah, I want to tell you this joke I heard." Keir nodded, patient. "Shoot." "Two Irish cops walk into a bar. The first cop says..." Rick's voice dropped. He said gruffly, "I love you. Come home." Keir managed to keep his voice steady. "What's the other cop say?" The sweetness of Rick's smile was like a kick in his chest. "That's what I'm here to find out, boyo.”

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Author:Josh Lanyon

“(...) I don´t want a drink. I just want to know where am I? -You´re not in Kansas anymore!- Jake chuckled at his own joke.”

Knows Want Drink Jokes Kansas Jake

Author:Alexandra Adornetto

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