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Famous Zach Galifianakis Quotes
“I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.”
“You write things that are of interest to you. There's no focus group.”
“At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?”
“I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.”
“I'll never forget my grandmother's last words. She said 'What are you doing?'”
“The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.”
“I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.”
“My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.”
“I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.”
“If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.”
“I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.”
“I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.”
“I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'”
“I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.”
“My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.”
“My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.”
“I don't know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.”
“I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.”
“I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.”
“American society loves to prop people up and then take them down.”
“Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.”
“I am not into publicity. I'm not good at it. I get anxiety about it.”