Source: The Clicking of Cuthbert
Funny Golf Quotes
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Funny Golf Quotes
Source: The Clicking of Cuthbert
Source: The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill
“Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.”
“Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.”
“One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.”
“Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.”
“I don't like to watch golf on television because I can't stand people who whisper.”
Source: A History of Golf
“You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.”
“The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.”
“The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.”
“Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.”
“May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.”
“This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win.”
“I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.”
“You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.”
“The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is - don't.”
“I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.”
“If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.”
“Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.”
“Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.”
“It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it.”
“Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.”
Source: Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People
“My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.”
“I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.”
“I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.”