Funny Golf Quotes
Browse 152 quotes about Funny Golf.
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Funny Golf Quotes
“These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.”
“Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.”
“There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.”
“Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.”
“I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.”
“My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.”
“The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.”
“Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward.”
“The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.”
“Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.”
“If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.”
“You know what they say about big hitters...the woods are full of them.”
“You've just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it.”
“They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.”
“I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.”
“What a shame to waste those great shots on the practice tee.”
“If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would've been a great shot.”
“I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.”
“Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.”
“Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well.”
“Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.”
“In golf as in life, it's the follow through that makes the difference.”
“Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.”
“Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.”
“Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.”
“The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.”
“Luck is predictable; the harder you work, the luckier you get.”
“My father's saying, The harder you work, the luckier you get.”
“The better your attitude and the harder you work, the luckier you get.”