“One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.” WayMadeUseHumorFunnyFacesHouseCamerasNeighborMy WayFiftyOne TimeFlashLightningSandwiches Author:Steven Wright
“My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.” WantMadeHumorKidsFunnyHouseWoodsLiftsNeighborhoodScareYards Author:Steven Wright
“The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.” I CanHumorFunnyWatchesComedyStones Author:Steven Wright
“I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy 'Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?' He said 'I don't know'. I said 'I don't want your job'.” IfsKnowsWantDoeSaidBookHumorLightHappensFunnyJobsGuyTurnsReadingAsksLet MeSpeedThings HappenInterviewsTurn-onSpaceshipsSpeed Of LightJob InterviewHeadlights Author:Steven Wright
“I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...” IfsHumorFunnyMovingNextWeekBoxesMarsNext Week Author:Steven Wright