Humor Quotes
Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.
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Humor Quotes
“After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash my Y-fronts for a month.”
“There isn't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.”
“You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one”
“With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.”
“Every Harvard class should have one Democrat to rescue it from oblivion.”
“Zionism and pessimism are not compatible.”
“My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.”
“[W]ithout humour you cannot run a sweetie-shop, let alone a nation.”
“The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.”
“If something's neither here nor there, where the hell is it?”
“The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights.”
“I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.”
“I'm so glad Courtney Love is here; I left my crack in my other purse.”
“The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.”
“If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.”
“If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.”
“The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.”