Humor Quotes
Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.
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Humor Quotes
“Don't pay any attention to the critics; don't even ignore them.”
“If you're a fish and you want to be a fish-stick, you have to have very good posture.”
“Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.”
“The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.”
“If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?”
“Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.”
“If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.”
“The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.”
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
“Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.”
“You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.”
“Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.”
“When action grows unprofitable, gather information; when information grows unprofitable, sleep.”
“I love you more than anything in this world. I don't expect that will last.”
“You can always rely on America to do the right thing -- once it has exhausted the alternatives.”
“We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.”
“Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.”