Humor Quotes
Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.
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Humor Quotes
“We've got stained glass windows in our house; it's those damned pigeons.”
“A neighbour put his budgerigar in the mincing machine and invented shredded tweet.”
“I first met my wife in the tunnel of love. She was digging it at the time.”
“My sister wanted a cat for a pet... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.”
“She's a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.”
“Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with!”
“People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden."”
“If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck.”
“Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.”
“New white people, you can't scare these white people, I tried.”
“Why don't you click your heels three times and go back to Africa.”
“When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'”
“As long as you're a tax deduction, you'll always be safe in my house.”
“Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.”