Humor Quotes
Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.
Related topics
Humor Quotes
“I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.”
“I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.”
“For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.”
“A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.”
“At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !”
“I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".”
“I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody.”
“I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.”
“One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".”
“I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.”
“Lots of women are getting involved. They're not satisfied just being passengers anymore.”
“You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again.”
“Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out.”
“I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.”
“I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.”
“I met this gangster who pulls up people's pants. Name's Wedgie Kray.”
“Believe it or not, there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people.”
“I'll tell you what makes my blood boil?... Crematoriums.”
“You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.”