Quotessence
Home / Topics / Humorous Quotes Quotes

Humorous Quotes Quotes

Browse 394 quotes about Humorous Quotes.

Humorous Quotes Quotes

“Nappo lo prese in mano perplesso. Ci volle un po’ perché riuscisse ad aprirlo. Era per via delle dita. Aveva dita corte e sbozzate come dei torsoli sputati da una trebbia difettosa. Quelle dita avevano deciso il suo destino. Quando, da bambino, aveva espresso il desiderio di suonare la fisarmonica, sua madre l’aveva guardato con dolcezza. “Con quali dita?” gli aveva chiesto. “Perché non provi con un altro strumento? Cosa ne pensi della roncola?”

MothersHumorous QuotesMadreMusicaLavoroUmorismoUmorismo Nero
Book:Un Maledetto Lavoro
Create image

“La victoria moral puede ser alcanzada por cualquiera al que el adversario le haya partido la cara. Ya Tolstoi manifestó en su día que la victoria moral es algo tremendamente claro. Masaryk alaba también la victoria moral, pero el hecho es que ni Tolstoi ni Masaryk recibieron en su vida una paliza.”

HumorPoliticsHumourPhilosophy Of LifeHumorous Quotes
Book:Storia del Partito del progresso moderato nei limiti della legge
Create image

“Not wanting her to become discouraged, Giles waved the tennis ball over his head, staying her swing before she could miss and send another ball flying backward into the Ashley River or smacking into the net. It was a miracle she hadn’t lobbed a ball through one of the long windows of the house. 'You’ve done wonderfully for your first lesson, but let’s say we call it a day?”

HumorHumourHumorous QuotesClumsyFunny RomanceClumsinessClumsy B
Book:Hearts of Gold Collection
Create image

“What kind of little sense? No sense, nonsense, or good sense? Good sense is highly overrated, don’t you think? Falling in love, for instance. It makes no sense at all. And yet we do it from time to time. ‘Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?’ and all that nonsense. Or is it?” Jasper gave an infuriatingly complacent grin.”

HumourHistorical RomanceHumorous QuotesRegency RomanceFalling In Love QuotesWitty BanterComic Characters
Book:Once Upon a Midwinter's Kiss
Create image

“But there was a thing here that I never saw. I don't think you've ever seen it either. There were Americans came here and they put whiskey in the beer." "No," I said. "Oui. My God, yes, that's true. Et aussi une femme qui a vomis sur la table!" "Comment?" "C'est vrai. Elle a vomis sur la table. Et après elle a vomis dans ses shoes. And afterward they come back and say they want to come again and have another party the next Saturday, and I say no, my God, no! When they came I locked the door.”

Humorous QuotesErnest Hemingway
Author:Ernest Hemingway
Create image

“If you call yourself an "authoress" on your Facebook profile, you suck at life. You are stupid and your children are ugly. It doesn't matter if you're just trying to be cute and original. You're not. You are about as original as all those other witless twits "writing" the one millionth shitty Fifty Shades clone. Or maybe you're trying to show your 2000 fake Facebook "friends" that you are an empowered feminist who will not stand for sexist terminology. But you're not showing people that you are fighting the good fight, you're showing people that you are a sheep, who's trying just a little too hard to ride the current wave of idiotic political correctness. The word "author" is no more gender-discrimination than the word "person." Do you call yourself a personess? No, of course not, because then you might as well wear a sign around your neck that says, "Hello, I'm a retard.”

HumorFunnyFeminismFeministStupidityDiscriminationAuthorWriterWritersSexismAnnoyingOriginalityGreyWriters On WritingFunny QuotesPersonHumorous QuotesAuthorsStupid PeoplePolitical CorrectnessPolitically CorrectFacebookRetardedFacebook QuotesFifty ShadesFifty Shades Of GreyAnnoying PeopleSheepleGender DiscriminationPolitically Correct CultureAuthoressUnoriginalFifty Shades Of Grey Humor
Author:Oliver Markus
Create image

“Everyone says there’s a voice in your head that serves as your conscience. Well, I’ve had lots of time to think about this, and I have my own psychological theory: Everybody has a tiny person in their head. Stay with me. Don’t laugh. This “Tiny Person” talks to itself, which would explain the voices we hear, but it makes its own decisions. People are merely drones controlled by them.”

PsychologyHumorous QuotesFiction NovelFunny And Random
Book:Not a Bestseller
Create image

“Few seem to be able to eat a turkey leg at Disneyland without splattering tsunami scale grease, so grab plenty of napkins or wear a bib, tablecloth or scuba suit.”

TurkeysHumorous QuotesDisneylandTurkey Legs
Book:The Disneyland Book of Secrets 2014 - Disneyland: One Local's Unauthorized, Rapturous and Indispensable Guide to the Happiest Place on Earth
Create image

“Now she’s talking to her soul pieces.” Siret was back to being amused over my weird brain. “Can I keep her?” He turned pleading eyes on his brothers, only for Yael to spin in a flash and deliver a punch right into the centre of his chest. “If anyone is keeping her, it’s me,” he snapped. “I won her fair and square.” Oh for fuc—“Listen up, assholes. For the last time, I’m not a piece of furniture that you guys own, and can trade around when you feel like it—”

HotHumorous QuotesBadass Women
Book:Persuasion
Create image