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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“Excellence is THE trend of the '80s. Walk into any shopping mall bookstore, go to the rack where they keep the best-sellers such as Garfield Gets Spayed, and you'll see a half-dozen books telling you how to be excellent: In Search of Excellence, Finding Excellence, Grasping Hold of Excellence, Where to Hide Your Excellence at Night So the Cleaning Personnel Don't Steal It, etc.”

Book Night Walks Half Findings Humorous Excellence Stealing Excellent Etc Trends Shopping Dozen Cleaning 80s Bookstores Malls Grasping Sellers Racks Personnel Best Sellers Garfield

Author:Dave Barry

“Retain a calm heart, sit like a turtle, walk swiftly like a pigeon, and sleep like a dog”

Inspirational Heart Funny Sleep Walks Dog Humorous Calm Calmness Pigeons Turtles Calm Down Retaining Stay Calm

Author:Li Ching-Yuen

“Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.”

Looks Funny Walks Intellectual Humorous Glasses Crowds Witty Temples Thick

Book:Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover

Source: Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover

“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”

“I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.”

Funny Walks Powerful Worship Humorous Witty Quicksand

Author:Art Buchwald

“We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous.”

Source: The Complete Sherlock Holmes: All 56 Stories & 4 Novels

“A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.”

“The Americans never walk. In winter too cold and in summer too hot.”

Walks Cold Walking Summer Humorous Hot Winter Hiking Trekking

Author:Jack Butler Yeats