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Famous Dana Gould Quotes
“Although I love the taste of Nutrageous bars, I am nutraged at their new, high price.”
“When you break life down, it's about 100% time management.”
“The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.”
“I like to think of murder-suicide as extreme multitasking.”
“Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?”
“Let's all start wearing bolo ties, and when they become hip again, we'll all say we were kidding.”
“Having kids means there's always someone around to blame your fart on.”
“Even if I say, Everyone in the village died of diarrhea, I still laugh a little after diarrhea.”
“If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.”
“When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.”
“There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.”
“Do transvestites have to dress up for Halloween or do they pretty much qualify from the get-go?”
“Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?”
“Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.”
“Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.”