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Famous Phyllis Diller Quotes
“Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.”
“I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.”
“It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.”
“Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.”
“I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'”