“I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.”
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Famous Phyllis Diller Quotes
“If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.”
“Some wives have model husbands, I got one that needed remodeling.”
“I met my husband when a friend sent him over to my house to cure my hiccoughs.”
“Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.”
“I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?”
“My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.”
“The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.”