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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“British Israelites: The British Israelites believe the white Anglo-Saxons of Britain to be descended from the ten lost tribes of Israel deported by Sargon of Assyria on the fall of Sumeria in 721 B.C. ... They further believe that the future can be foretold by the measurements of the Great Pyramid, which probably means it will be big and yellow and in the hand of the Arabs. They also believe that if you sleep with your head under the pillow a fairy will come and take all your teeth.”

IfsBelieveMeanHandsBigsFallLostSleepWhiteTenHumorousIsraelBritishTeethFairyBritainYellowTribesPillowMeasurementPyramidsAnglo Saxon
Author:Mike Harding
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“Harry is heavily into camping, and every year in the late fall, he makes us all go to Assateague, which is an island on the Atlantic Ocean famous for its wild horses. I realize that the concept of wild horses probably stirs romantic notions in many of you, but this is because you have never met any wild horses in person. In person, they are like enormous hooved rats. They amble up to your camp site, and their attitude is: We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're protected by federal law, just like Richard Nixon.”

YearsPersonsLawFallRealizingAttitudeMetsOceanLateHumorousConceptsHorseNotionShoesEnormousIslandsCampsProtectedSiteRatsTentsCampingPoopWild HorsesAtlantic Ocean
Author:Dave Barry
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“The brand is lying about something, or at least misrepresenting it. When I read a bottle of shampoo or moisturizer or other beauty product, I always perceive a dark subtext. The words haunt me. It comes across as humorous to the reader/audience, but in fact the words really do make me a little bit queasy. Nothing is as easy or natural as consumer brands want us to think - no problem is as resolvable. Your hair will fall out, eventually. Yet we do have these brands, and we line our shelves with them. There's an inherent irony.”

ThinkingWantLittlesFactsProblemLyingFallEasyBitsNaturalLinesDarkAudienceProductsHairReaderLittle BitHumorousBrandsConsumersPerceiveIronyBottlesInherentShelvesNo ProblemWant UShampooSubtextBeauty Products
Author:Aaron Belz
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“You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The paradox consists of the fact that, when we fall in love, we are seeking to re-find all or some of the people to whom we were attached as children. On the other hand, we ask our beloved to correct all of the wrongs that these early parents or siblings inflicted upon us. So that love contains in it the contradiction: The attempt to return to the past and the attempt to undo the past.”

PeopleChildrenFactsHandsPastFallAsksParentLove IsStrangeReturnHumorousFalling In LoveSeekingWittyBelovedContradictionParadoxSiblingMisdemeanorsCrimes And Misdemeanors
Author:Woody Allen
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“While Europe's eye is fix'd on mighty things, The fate of empires and the fall of kings; While quacks of State must each produce his plan, And even children lisp the Rights of Man; Amid this mighty fuss just let me mention, The Rights of Woman merit some attention.”

MenChildrenStatesEyeFallAttentionFateRightsPlansProduceKingsHumorousEuropeLet MeMeritEmpiresWomens RightsQuacksLisp
Book:The Poetical Works of Robert Burns. To which are Now Added, Notes Illustrating Historical, Personal, and Local Allusions. [The Editor's Preface Signed: R. C., I.e. Robert Chambers.]
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“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”

PeopleLoveInspirationalFallLove IsLove YouHumorousRomanticResponsibleFalling In LoveTrue LoveEngagementInspirational LoveValentineCongratulationsPhysicistValentine's DayI Love YouInventorFinding LoveHeart LoveTime LoveI Loved YouThose We LoveBeen In LovePerfect LoveTime And LoveI Fall In LoveGreat ScienceValentine LoveValentines Day LoveGravitationBest Ever LoveRomantic Valentines DayFalling For YouSt ValentineHappy Valentines DayValentine PhrasesSweet ValentineFalling In Love With YouPersons LoveScience LoveValentines Day SpecialUltimate LoveI Love You LikeShort Valentines DayI Fell In Love With YouSad Valentines DayShort ValentineUnique Valentines DayNever Fall In LoveFunny Falling In LoveCute Funny Valentines DayLove LineLove Being With YouLove EmotionEngagement DayNot Falling In LoveEasy To Fall In Love
Author:Albert Einstein
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