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Anthony Jeselnik

Anthony Jeselnik Quotes

Comedian

Anthony Jeselnik, born on December 22, 1978, is an American comedian known for his sharp wit and unique performance style. He has gained recognition for his appearances in comedy clubs and television shows.

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Famous Anthony Jeselnik Quotes

“On Twitter, when someone would die, I would write a joke. Or if there's a tragedy, I would write a joke and tweet it. That was my thing, and then at a certain point, people started demanding it.”

People Ifs Writing Certain Dies Jokes Tragedy Tweet

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“Dark humor appealed to me because it was a bigger laugh than you could get with anything else. Seeing people laugh at something inappropriate with their whole bodies, a guttural, visceral laugh beyond a mere "hah."”

People Whole Body Dark Laughing Seeing Bigger Mere Dark Humor Inappropriate Visceral

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I want people to just be paying attention even if they're not necessarily laughing at something, or if it takes them a while to get something, I don't mind that. If half the crowd gets the joke and the other half is sitting there scratching their heads, that's just as good for me if I like the joke, because I feel like it just brings people in more.”

People Ifs Want Feels Mind Attention Half Laughing Jokes Sitting Crowds Pay Attention Other Half

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I do dark [humor]. I like people who are silly and weird and people who are surprising and good at what they do.”

People Dark Silly Surprising Dark Humor

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“The one thing I've found you really can't joke about - and people think it's death or something - is money. No one thinks it's funny, whether you have it or you don't. Money is just something no one seems to like joking about.”

People Thinking Seems Found One Thing Jokes Found You

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“There is nothing that's off limits. If people think something is off limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it; that's my job.”

People Ifs Thinking Jobs Limits Jokes

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“People are surprised that I'm nice and it helps me out a little bit; it's easy to be nice when everyone thinks you're going to be a jerk but if people think you're a nice guy then it's tough because it's what they expect.”

People Ifs Thinking Littles Helping Guy Easy Bits Nice Little Bit Tough Help Me Being Nice Jerk Nice Guy

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past. Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldnt be the bad guy in the joke; he couldnt upset people, really.”

People Different Past Guy Voice Written Jokes Priorities Upset Bad Guys Jimmy Different Voices

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“Everyone has the same kind of fears; everyone has the same big problems in the world, which is, like, fear of death and I hope horrible things dont happen to my family, but they do. And I think people laugh at them as this great release.”

People Thinking World Kind Problem Bigs Happens Laughing My Family Horrible Release Fear Of Death Big Problems Horrible Things

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I'm inspired by making people laugh at subjects that should make them cry.”

People Should Laughing Subjects Cry Inspired Making People Laugh

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I can stand by a tweet. But Comedy Central said they couldn't publicly support me, unless I deleted it. I wasn't about to tell the people who work for me that they didn't have jobs anymore because I wasn't going to delete a stupid tweet.”

People Said I Can Jobs Support Comedy Stupid Tweet Support Me

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I've always been fascinated by dark subjects, especially people's reactions to them. Why are people so uncomfortable talking about death if everyone dies?”

People Ifs Dies Dark Talking Subjects Reactions Uncomfortable Fascinated

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“What do I care if someone doesn't like me. If I like someone other people hate, it makes me feel special. I think my fans feel that way.”

People Ifs Thinking Way Feels Care Hate Fans Special Like Me I Care Make Me Feel Special

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I guess I prefer the laughs. I couldn't do a whole set of just shocks, but I like throwing a fastball inside every now and then to keep people on their toes.”

People Whole Laughing Shock Throwing Now And Then Toes Fastballs

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I think some people just don't know that much about comedy. It would be like a person who didn't know anything about football thinking all offensive linemen are the same.”

People Thinking Knows Persons Would Be Comedy Football Offensive Lineman Linemen Offensive Lineman

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.”

“I think the reason I became funny was because if I made people laugh, they would let me keep talking.”

People Ifs Thinking Made Reason Talking Laughing Let Me Keep Talking

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people, but it's not. You really have to explain it to them.”

People Fun Easy Retarded

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“Jeff Ross has been roasting people since Whitney Cummings was nothing but a glint in the eye of the man who raped her mother.”

People Men Has Beens Eye Mother He Man Whitney Roasting

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“Of all the ways people save time, I think racism is the worst.”

People Thinking Way Worst Racism

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I was raised Catholic. I rejected it later on. I'm an outspoken atheist now. People say, 'Oh, it's a negative thing to be an atheist.' I don't agree. I think it's more optimistic to think that there is no God, no afterlife.”

People Thinking Religion Negative Catholic Agree Raised Atheist Optimistic Afterlife Rejected There Is No God Outspoken

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“Stereotypes wouldn't be so bad if black people were nicer, in general.”

People Ifs Black Black People Stereotype

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“Racist dermatologists think all black people have really bad skin.”

People Thinking Black Racism Skins Racist Black People All Black

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I think a theater show is a pure version of me doing my material. The theater crowd is a bit more polite, there really aren't hecklers, and there are a lot of people there to see me, and they're excited about the jokes and hanging out with me for a show.”

People Thinking Shows Bits Materials Pure Jokes Theater Crowds Excited Versions Hanging Out Polite Hecklers

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death.”

People Want Death Fascinated Forbidden Forbidden Things

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I don't think people shouldn't try to be edgy, but you have to take what the audience says to you in consideration.”

People Thinking Trying Audience Consideration Edgy

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“Todd Glass has amazing energy on stage. Dave Attell is one of my favorites because he's a one liner comic who is always incredibly in the moment with the audience. As for newer people, I think Adrienne Iapalucci writes some great, dark jokes and Sean Patton has a hilarious voice on stage.”

People Thinking Writing Moments Energy Voice Dark Audience Stage Jokes Glasses Comic One Liner Dave Sean One Line

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“Usually the beginning of a story that people hear a lot. For example, "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut" or "My dad keeps losing his car keys." And then I just think of different ways the story could end. "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend." Then I try it out on stage. I don't do a lot of re-writing. My jokes either work or they don't. The trick is just to write a ton of jokes.”

“I actually never acted on "Deadwood." I have meetings all the time where people look at my IMDb page and see that I played the part of "Accounting Clerk" on Deadwood. Actually, I was the accounting clerk for production of "Deadwood."”

People Looks Pages Meetings Productions Accounting Clerks

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“Wayne Brady, I don’t understand why people keep joking that you’re not black. Wayne Brady, you are BLACK. After all, I only remember you for all the years you played an uppity slave on ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway?’.”

People Years Remember Black Lines Slave Wayne Remember You Remembers You Brady

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

About the Author

Born: December 22, 1978
Known for: Comedian
Quotes: 199

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