“Ducks are water gymnasts. Their fluid motion goes beyond dance and into art.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“I admire the flow of your dancing moves, and I'd love to bottle them up and sell them as windshield wiper fluid. I only wish they came in Ozarks Rain Flavor.”
Source: The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks
“Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs to a foggy Ozarks morning.”
Source: The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks
“Turn the music down, and when you hit zero decibels—turn it down even more. Negative volume produces the most beautiful dancing.”
Source: The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks
“Jazz is made for elevators. It's crafted for the finest dancing spaces.”
Source: Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast
“The only thing better than Steve Winwood is an instrumental cover of Steve Winwood that's heavy on the flute. When I hear it, I dance like I'm on a crowded elevator.”
Source: Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast
“I can teach you how to dance, but I can't teach you how to be sexy. Well, I mean I can, but it'll cost you an additional $19.95.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs on a shelf in a library, next to other great literature.”
Source: 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat
“Some songs should be silent. They would be more danceable if they were ear camouflaged.”
Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge
“I dance like both my shoes are nailed to the wall. It goes way beyond mere performance and into the realm of art. I am the Rodin of the music world.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“All the boys in the middle school locker room used to tease me and tell me I danced like Tina Turner. But that didn't stop them from throwing baloney sandwiches at me and whistling.”
Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge
“The key to dancing is to do it without music. Whoever first paired dancing and music together was an absolute lunatic, and would have been more useful to society if squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste. Nine out of ten dentists agree with me.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“What's the difference between running shoes and dancing shoes? Nothing, if you find a song that's 26.2 miles long.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“Growing up, I was always filled with DoNotDisturbery, and I dance like a Slippery When Wet sign with legs. The jerky motion might remind you of a Pekin duck in flight.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I bought an aquarium for my ducks, because that's kind of how I dance. Lessons start at $19.83 and move on up to 1984 in a Boogaloo Orwell mix. There was too much electricity, so I had to unplug my moves from The Matrix. (Kneepads not included.)”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“Roller skating is dancing with wheels. I let the rhythm flow through my body like water through a duck. Watch where you step.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I dance like a rodeo tornado, and I make duck soup with extra feathers. To make it taste more authentic, you should try drinking it out of a dusty cowboy boot.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I'm wearing my Midnight Black Dancing Shoes. They are shaped like vintage locomotives, and I move like the memory of Branson in 1991—which fluctuates by minutes every day, just like the scene at my duck farm.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I dance like my legs are made of Jell-O. I know, exotic and romantic, right? But my dancing also now comes in Duck Soup Flavor, and is FOR SALE in small, medium, and buffet-style.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Your dance moves should be fluid, like Duck Soup. Right now when you buy my Romance In Motion lessons, you get FREE refills.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I dance like a dead man rolling out of a coffin, and that's also how Campbell's tastes. But if you fill up a thermos with my Duck Soup, it might help you win the marathon at the next Olympics. I'd like to sponsor your performance.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Nobody admires the sculpture of dance, and my moves are as fluid as a statue, which few people are willing to pay to watch. That's why I'm now selling duck eggs at food shortage prices.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“The key to dancing is to do it without music. Whoever first paired dancing and music together was a lunatic, like a duck running a marathon, and would have been more useful to society if squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste. Nine out of ten dentists agree with me.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Shrinkflation is when you pay more money and receive less than what you used to get at a lower price. It's like buying a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and being served two pieces of bread. But in that Air Sandwich there exists the possibility of flight. And if those two slices of bread are soggy, then you have just created Duck Heaven.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“The best thing about an air sandwich is between the two slices of bread there exists the possibility of flight. And if those two slices of bread are soggy, then you have just created Duck Heaven.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more somebody is going to get hurt.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“I built a giant gumball machine, and I filled it with duck eggs. The only currency it accepts as payment is karaoke singing.”
Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge
“You shouldn't sing blues if you don't have a voice like barbecue. It's got to be smoky.”
Source: Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast
“Thanks to my ducks practicing for The Monteverdi Choir tryouts, I didn’t sleep a wink last night. No, I slept a whole blink, which is more restful and less flirtatious than a wink.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I wish I got a notification on my phone every time I appeared in someone's dreams. Wouldn't that be cool, or no, because you like being able to secretly think about me?”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“In a Lake of Clouds, there's only one thing you can fish for: Dreams. Mostly I catch mine, but sometimes I catch yours, and I must say I am flattered to always see myself as the co-star in your subconscious fantasies.”
Source: The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks
“In the New World Order, you’ll probably have to buy a Dream Subscription, and without it sleep will just be black rest. Dreams are entertainment, and for that you’ll have to pay.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“You are in your dreams, but you also appear in mine. Yet you have no memory of ever being in even one of my dreams. How can you forget some place you spend so much time? Compared to a duck, you make the swimming bird’s brain look like a supercomputer.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“A pond is just a giant bowl of Rain Soup. BearPaw Duck Farm has one that's one quarter full, or three quarters empty, depending on if you are a realist or a realist. I myself am a realist, which is like a pessimist's pessimist.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Coffee is my Focus Juice. Without it, everything is just a dream.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“Did you know that parts of the brain are in delta sleep even when one is awake? It's this part of the brain one uses to VOTE.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“I make Coach Noises while I sleep. If my yelling wakes you up, you need to sleep harder and stop slacking off.”
Source: Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast
“Sven nudges Cooper’s back with his foot and says, “NASA just came out and claimed an asteroid will pass by the earth that's the size of 112 camels.”
Cooper doesn’t open his eyes, but instead groggily replies, “Wake me up when it's 113 or more. I have a policy that I don't disrupt my naps for anything less than 113 camels.”
Source: World Farming Championship
“I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every day to get better. That’s just the kind of hard worker I am.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“I morphed from a fly to a flower to a butterfly, which is like a combination flower and fly. I thought I was in love, but I was merely asleep.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“How do pillow makers sleep at night? Do they have no souls? How can pillow makers sleep knowing they make an Object of Violence that is involved in more fights than any other component of bedding?”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“I love sleepwalking, because when else would I get to combine exercise and rest?”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“I'm an interesting guy. I have thrilling hobbies like sleeping, napping, and dozing. If we meet up and chat over coffee, your conversation will probably excite me enough to give you a demonstration of my skills.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“People say jazz puts them to sleep. As a master saxophone player, one who sounds like a duck quacking, I don't know if they're trying to insult me or insinuating they found a holistic solution to their insomnia. My music NOW comes in water-soluble tablets to be taken before bed.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“Before I had a duck farm, I had a business partner. Between Brian and I, we had a thousand dollars invested. Brian had $990, and I had all the rest. I really did have all the rest, because I slept while he worked.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“For better sleep tonight, pre-order your duck fight today. It’ll give your pillow the energy you need to power slumber through to the morning.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“A boring machine, would it drill holes—or put you to sleep? The two-party political system, that’s a boring machine, though voters are waking up. I'd like to think my ducks quacking for their breakfast in the morning is also helping The Sleepwalkers rise from their slumber.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“What if a slumber retailer merged with a hamburger substitute to form a new store called Bed, Bath, and Beyond Meat? It would be the opposite of what ducks make, which is real sleep products (feather pillows) and real food (eggs).”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“My body is sore. I’m not very good at the sport called Sleeping. Like a waddling duck is to a marathon runner, so I am to a kitten. I need to practice more, maybe multiple times a day.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Have you ever had a prophetic dream about my duck farm being as successful in the future as The Spicy Chicken Sandwich? No? Well, try harder! For better results, sleep longer.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production