“Music is a way to time travel. Most people like to go back to the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s, but have you considered visiting the year 4321 through your ears?”
Source: Me and memes and memories
“I love powdered vaporwave music. That’s what I mix in my coffee to make it taste like fresh elevator.”
Source: Me and memes and memories
“Boxcar Willie was the Bruce Willis of Branson. He made others Die Hard, and usually because they were listening to his music.”
Source: Me and memes and memories
“I like music from the 80s, 90s, and elevators. I think it’s easier to fill up a space like a mechanical lift than it is to fill up a whole decade.”
Source: Me and memes and memories
“Zebras are piano horses. I think about that when I’m swinging a golf club, and it brings a musical cowboy element to my game that another player might not be able to buy in a vending machine.”
Source: To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“I went to a music concert last night. I took a bunch of pictures, because nothing captures sound like a photograph.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“I'm a musical conductor. My orchestra is composed of 72 quacking ducks, and they perform best in the morning when I'm about to let them out of their pen.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“Powdered Saxophone Music is now FOR SALE. (Duck pond not included.)”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“The Anthems of Rock are The Kings and Queens of Queen. No really, they out-Queened Queen, and they put Freddie Mercury in a thermometer and got this crowd HOT.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“Of all the musical tastes, Meat Loaf is the most flavorful. Is there anything better than Leftovers from the 80s?”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“Elevators are supposed to smell like urine. That's what make the jazz playing through the overhead speakers sound more authentic.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“Steven Seagal makes movies only blind people could love. I'm glad he goes full Helen Keller and makes music you have to be deaf to appreciate.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“Music allows us to travel back in time through our ear canals. The top song of 1991, Bryan Adams' "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You", takes me back to Branson in its glory year, and that's like a FREE vacation.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“You should learn how to play the flute. Then you could ride in the passenger seat of my car and play instrumental versions of classic 80s pop songs while I drive around on the clock for Uber.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“I thought people loved it when I played my guitar. Last time I performed Toby Keith, and everyone at the party started engaging in gay butt sex.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“Ducks splash in water like an aqua saxophone swims in jazz. Elevators have space that needs to be filled with anti-silence, and I have a surplus of liquid music you can purchase or lease.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“Music is fluid, and my ducks love splashing in it. When I fill my pool full of Vaporwave, they swim like they're dancing.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“I love powdered saxophone music. That’s what I mix in my coffee to make it taste like fresh elevator.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“White people have been accused of not seasoning our chicken. But what about other poultry? I season duck with layered flavors of various aquatic spices, like swimming, splashing, and powdered saxophone music.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“My ducks have trumpets for beaks. I do NOT farm the way liquid jazz would fill up an elevator and turn it into an ascending pond.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“What if instead of rain, songs were stored in clouds? Instead of Cumulonimbus, they were Cumulonimusic?”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“Growing up, my mom gave me the choice of either golf lessons or piano, and of course I chose the more musical option. That's how I learned to make triumphant trumpet noises with my mouth.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“I have a musical voice. My songs are best enjoyed in powdered ice-cream format.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“U2 makes music for guys who have ears and can hear. But U2 makes concert imagery for guys who need visual stimulation to help push kidney stones through their urethras.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“Some questions are shaped like slow elevators, and they deserve words that fill spaces like notes from a brass saxophone. Sometimes the silence of body language is music for my eyes.”
Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge
“They don't play the trombone like the tuba anymore. I blame it on canned tunafish.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“I'm so good at math that you can ask me any question, any equation, and I'll convert it into trumpet sounds with my mouth. If it's tough enough, I may answer with Dizzy Gillespie noises.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“The strings on a guitar are like fishing lines, and I strum them out at sea. Each string has a distinct sound and flavor, but the most popular with the sharks is Leftover Meatloaf, which sounds like Color Me Badd’s 1991 song “I Wanna Sex You Up.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“Self-driving cars are so lonely. Are you really going to use all that extra commute time to binge-watch Netflix? Why not hire me to sit next to you and whistle all your favorite tunes?”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“The world is getting more violent, and we need to be prepared. I once trained for a fight by pushing buttons in an elevator. Of course, it was a Saxophone-FREE environment, which favors my physical combat approach.”
Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge
“Piano ducks swimming make noises like drowning saxophones. I taught them how to Mozart like powdered Michael Phelps on the bottom of a crushed box of cereal.”
Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge
“I believe medieval cathedrals are not just overly ornate buildings with intricate designs to please the eyes. I believe they are giant dormant sound machines, and if you were to find the On Button on one, it would probably start playing Celine Dion's greatest hits.”
Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge
“The cat hair floated in the air like a sound vibration, and I plucked it like a guitar string. Sometimes I can be so musical I’m like a living love song.”
Source: 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat
“I make music one note at a time, just like Mozart did. Tomorrow night you’ll get to hear the second note in my masterpiece symphony. If you could take the clicking noises that a whale makes, merge them with ducks quacking, and convert them to digital wavelengths, that's the vibe.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“The reason I write music with one note occurring every 24 hours is that slow dancing is a lost art, and I'm trying to bring it back at an almost inaudible pace. Listen like a duck swims or you'll miss the best part of the song.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“It should be illegal to condense xylophone music and sell it in a can as imitation duck broth, but it isn’t, and so I do. One for $20, or 19 for ONLY $19.95!”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Liquid xylophone music with a hint of saxophone is too exotic to drink. But it's perfect for swimming ducks, and that sound really comes across in the taste later.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Old houses make funny noises. One time I stayed in a decaying place that made sounds like John Waite's 1984 radio hit "Missing You." Personally, I liked it, but the 13 ducks I was sharing a bathtub with didn't agree, so they made me take them to the luxury hotel known as Motel 6.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Sometimes my duck soup tastes like melted saxophone jazz, only more metallic. That's why I spice it up with trombone solo in liquid format.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Here is a historical fact that somehow gets overlooked, and might seem controversial, but it just simply is true: The Beastie Boys should only be listened to by deaf people. Any other time it plays over speakers, it should be considered torture and an act of war. Even ducks, the songbirds of the feathered swimmers, hate The Beastie Boys, and consider them to be The Three Stooges of the musical world, with all of the vocal talent of Gilbert Gottfried.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Ducks are a lot like lightning, I thought to myself as I played my electric guitar. Or was it a harp? I get those two farm tools mixed up.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I once tried to cut down a tree using saxophone music, but it didn’t work because I was playing a flute. That’s when I started designing clothing made out of cardboard boxes and duck farming.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“A zebra is the piano of the animal kingdom, and now you can learn to play like Mozart on horseback. If I can coach my ducks to become World Dodgeball Champions, I can make your musical equestrian dreams a reality.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“When I make duck soup, I add an extra pinch of Simply Red’s hit song “Holding Back The Years.” It makes a better emulsifier than peeled carrots.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I sleep in my sunglasses. They’re two miles away and I’m awake at the time, thanks to my ducks and their quacking and their loud jazz music in the early morning hours between 3-5 PM.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“Dust off your dancing shoes, the ones with wheels attached, because I’ve got banjo sounds FOR SALE. I’ve got boxes and boxes of the stuff labeled “Sexy," and to be sure nobody steals them, they are rubber and waterproof and I store them all on the bottom of my duck pond.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“If you like how jazz music sounds, you'll love how it tastes. My duck soup now comes in trumpet-solo flavor. You don't have to curl weights, because this is already pure Armstrong.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I used to have an eagle for a mustache. I made FREEDOM music when I whistled. Now I'm wiser. Now I have a duck above my upper lip.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“The sign in the parking lot next to a mini cliff said, "Danger Falling Rocks," so I commented, "Who's this band, Danger Falling? If they rock, how come I've never heard of them or heard them?" They can't be better than Bette Midler, or my ducks would sing them during karaoke.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“If you dig deep enough inside you, you'll find music. At BearPaw Duck Farm I hired an excavator, and I unearthed saxophone jazz. Taste the flavor for ONLY $3.33 per song.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight