“Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.”
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Famous Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
“I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.”
“I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!”
“You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.”
“I was so ugly my parents had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me.”
“I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.”
“She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.”
“Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'”
“When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.”
“I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.”