Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
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Famous Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
“I don't know kid, there are so many places they could hide.”
“Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.”
“My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.”
“When I was a kid I got no respect. I played hide-and-seek. They wouldn't even look for me.”
“What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“When I was a kid I got no respect. My mother breast fed me through a straw.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.”
“I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."”
“We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.”
“I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.”
“I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.”
“My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.”
“I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.”
“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
“On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.”
“My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.”
“I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.”