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Famous Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
“My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.”
“Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!”
“I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.”
“I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.”
“I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".”
“I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.”
“When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.”
“I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.”
“My wife and I keep fighting about sex and money. I think she charges me too much.”
“My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.”
“I tell ya, with my wife, I got no sex life. Her favorite position is facing Bloomingdale's.”
“Steak and sex, my favorite pair. I get them both very rare.”
“Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.”
“When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.”
“My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.”
“If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.”
“To me, Viagra is the same as Disneyland. You wait an hour for a two-minute ride.”