Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
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Famous Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
“When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!”
“I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.”
“I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".”
“I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.”
“I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."”
“When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"”
“I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'”
“Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“The sign on the bar said: 'girls- topless, bottomless', I went inside and there was nobody there!”