“My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.”
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Famous Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
“A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.”
“One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“One night I asked a cabbie to take me where the action is, he took me to my house.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.”
“The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.”
“I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.”
“What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.”