“I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.”
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Famous Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
“I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.”
“I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!”
“I like southern girls. They talk so slow that by the time they say no, I made it already.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.”
“I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?”
“I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.”
“I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.”
“With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.”
“I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.”
“I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.”
“The sign on the bar said: 'girls- topless, bottomless', I went inside and there was nobody there!”