The compulsive Spike Milligan
A source page for quotes linked to Spike Milligan.
Related Quotes
“After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it”
Source: Adolf Hitler: My Part in His Downfall
“To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don't want you singing at my funeral.”
“If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.”
“God made nightButMan made darkness.”
Source: Spike Milligan, a celebration: the best of Milligan
“Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.”
Source: Milligan's Meaning of Life: An Autobiography of Sorts
“I'm a hero wid coward's legs, I'm a hero from the waist up.”
Source: Dear Robert, Dear Spike: the Graves-Milligan correspondence
“Archduke Franz Ferdinand Found Alive! First World War a Mistake!”
“We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.”
“If I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger; and if I die, I won't eat soon.”
“If you kill me, I promise you - you will never take me alive.”
Source: Puckoon
“Education isn't everything, for a start it isn't an elephant”
“Render any politician down and there's enough fat to fry an egg.”
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.”
“My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”
“I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.”
Source: The compulsive Spike Milligan
“Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.”
“Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?”
“Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.”
“Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.”
“I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.”
“Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?”
“General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.”
“Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.”
“One day the "Don't Knows" will get in and then where will we be?”
“It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t”