Quotessence
Home / Topics / Funny Book Quotes Quotes

Funny Book Quotes Quotes

Browse 104 quotes about Funny Book Quotes.

Funny Book Quotes Quotes

“If you don't relax and start reading, I'll have to begin narrating out loud. And fair warning, I do voices. And accents." He clears his throat dramatically and looks down at his book before reciting in a thick Scottish brogue. ""I don' wan'a cup'a tea' McNally told the told widow. 'I wan'a see Cormack.' 'I told ye,' she replied. 'Cormack don' wan'a see ye. Ye'll hav'te wait till-'" Ward stop butchering what should have been an enchanting accent the moment I snap my book open. "You should see your face right now," he says, grinning. "But come on, I wasn't that bad." I beg to differ. I feel like my ears are bleeding.”

“Ella watched as he dismounted that bike, pretty sure those jeans had been painted on. Dear Lord that was a delicious hind view. "Stop it, you’re not supposed to objectify new people." She knew it was a man because that black t-shirt showcased tanned skin and work earned muscles. He had turned around, his profile to her, and she watched that helmet come off, sunlight bouncing off the visor briefly. "I’m gonna objectify the shit out of that." Ella would freely admit she was a jackhole.”

“What’s not to love? I made friends with a pretty girl and now we get to plan a castle break in. This beats the day to day kill, eat and survive.”

“Ah, like how Sharon Parker’s bra kind of found its way into your locker?” He leaned in, resting his elbows on the table. “Are you going to constantly bring these things up the entire time we’re dating?” “Sorry. Just using my prior knowledge to try and gauge what kind of fake boyfriend you’re going to make.” “Well, if your bitterness is any indication of the kind of fake girlfriend you’re going to be, I won’t hold my breath for you to fake put out.”

“Sadly for you, I think I'm going to live, Simi. You can stop slapping me now. I've already lost enough sense. Can't afford to lose any more brain cells. I really really need my last three before I forget how to spell my name. It's hard enough to pronounce." Nick "well, poo. Not poo that you'll live, 'cause the Simi would probably miss you if you died, but poo that I'll miss all that good old salty boy meat. Though we needs be fatting you up some to make you really good eats. Hmmm." Simi”

“And so the cycle of innocence found, lost, found again, and finally lost is complete. Just as a peanut is neither a pea nor a nut… and a thighmaster is neither a thigh nor a master… so our hero learned that Netflix and Chill means neither Netflix nor Chill. And if you’re just learning this for the first time, welcome to the end of your innocence.”

“Oh no?" he sneered, pulling a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and lighting one up. "Knowing what you're like, the slightest sign of a discarded cigarette butt and you would've been crawling around on your hands and knees trying to figure out how tall the smoker was, how old he was, what zodiac sign he was, whether he'd taken a crap that morning, and Christ knows what else.”

“Something fell and George was off, barking like a mad dog. What if whoever is back there hurts him? Oh. My. Goodness. If I do die, I can do so happily now. That man’s eyes were so blue—and I swore they changed color. “I made a huge mistake,” Jake said as he took the leash off of George. “I said p-i-z-z-a out loud. And he took off at a fast jog all the way back here from the park right through Ms. Helen’s sprinklers down the street.” And then nothing…no words entered my brain. I sniffed and quickly nodded, like I was about to cry. “Okay. Right. Amen.” Then I forced myself to slow down and not run back to my seat.”

“Are you prepared?" she asked when the other Valkyries had their passengers in place. "Sure," Matt said. "But we could use a soundtrack this time. Maybe a little Wagner. Da-da-da DUM dum." Hildar looked back at hiim blankly. "Wagner? Ride of the Valkyries? Da-da-da...Er, never mind." "Oh!" Baldwin said. "I know that one!" "Don't feed the geek," Fen muttered. "Hey," Matt said. "I'm not a-" "Oh, yeah, you are, Thorsen. You really are," Fen said in a voice that might have been teasing.”