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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.”

“Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.”

Play Eye Remember Women Justice Fire Humorous Witty Smoke Sarcastic

Book:The wit and wisdom of Mae West

Source: The wit and wisdom of Mae West

“Do you mind if I don't smoke?”

Ifs Mind Funny Humorous Witty Smoke Smoking

Author:Groucho Marx

“But when I don't smoke I scarcely feel as if I'm living. I don't feel as if I'm living unless I'm killing myself.”

Ifs Feels Funny Humorous Killing Smoke Smoking Cigarette Tobacco Cigar Smoking Cigarettes Smoking Cigars Cosy Smoking A Pipe Tobacco Smoking Pipe Smoking Cigarette Smoke Killing Myself

Book:The Turtle Diary

Source: The Turtle Diary

“Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT.”

Ifs Said Funny Humorous Fats Smoke Smoking Zero Warning Cigarette Cigar Smoking Cigarettes Smoking Cigars Cigarette Smoke

Author:Dave Barry

“If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.”

Ifs Firsts Funny Ten Humorous Paid Dollars Smoke Smoking Making Love Cigar Smokers Smoking Cigars Tobacco Smoking

Author:George Burns

“If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.”

Ifs Funny Heaven Humorous Smoke Smoking Cigar Smoking Cigars Funny Smoking

Author:Mark Twain

“A cigar has "...a fire at one end and a fool at the other."”

“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.”

“I was told to hand over my disposable lighter, to prevent, I suppose, any threat of "Do what I say or I'll light this Marlboro and you'll all die - in thirty years due to inhalation of secondhand smoke."”

Years Humor Hands Light Funny Dies Food Humorous Threat Dues Smoke Thirty Airline Thirty Years Lighters Disposable Air Travel Secondhand Smoke

Book:Peace Kills

Source: Peace Kills