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Sandwiches Quotes

Browse 391 quotes about Sandwiches.

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Sandwiches Quotes

“If God is watching us, as some believers suggest, as though we were a television show and God had a lot of free time, the deity would surely be bemused by how dumbed-down devotion has sometimes become in this so-called modern era. How might an omnipotent being with the long view of history respond to those who visit the traveling exhibit of a grilled-cheese sandwich, sold on eBay, that is said to bear the image of the Virgin Mary? It certainly argues against intelligent design, or at least intelligent design in humans.”

IfsHumansLongSaidSometimesShowsMightViewsModernDesignTelevisionBearsIntelligentArguingBelieverDevotionErasMaryCheeseVirginsDeitiesSandwichesExhibitsTelevision ShowsFree TimeOmnipotentIntelligent DesignVirgin MaryEbayModern EraGrilled CheeseCheese Sandwiches
Author:Anna Quindlen
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“I have a friend who actually told me that she'd rather be dead than be fat. This is a woman who, if I order a sandwich at lunch, she'll order a salad. If I order a salad, she'll order half a cantaloupe. If I order half a cantaloupe, she'll order a cup of coffee. This bizarre contest continues until she's down to sucking on a mint-flavored toothpick. At this rate, her preference for dying over being fat could be a reality sooner than she thinks.”

IfsThinkingRealityOrderHalfDyingWeightRateCoffeeFatsCupsLunchContestsBizarrePreferenceSandwichesSaladCoffee CupMintToothpicksBeing Fat
Author:Joy Behar
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“Grandpa did everything at his own pace, a speed that my sister and I referred to as 'when snails attack.' ... My grandparents' house was only about ten miles from ours, but the ride there would necessitate sandwiches packed for the trip, and several books to keep us occupied.”

BookHouseTenSpeedMilesPaceMy SisterGrandparentSandwichesGrandpaSnailGrandparents House
Book:Let's Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir)
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“I have realized that mystery is what keeps people away, and I've grown tired of smoke and mirrors. I yearn for the clean, well-lighted place. So let's peek behind the curtain and hail the others like us. The open-faced sandwiches who take risks and live big and smile with all of their teeth. These are the people I want to be around. This is the honest way I want to live and love and write.”

PeopleWayWantWritingWellsBigsBehindsRiskMysteryHonestAnd LoveMirrorsTiredCleanTeethSmokeCurtainsSandwichesHailLive And LoveSmoke And Mirrors
Author:Amy Poehler
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“The result of civilization, at the Sandwich Islands and elsewhere, is found productive to the civilizers, destructive to the civilizees. It is said to be compensation--a very philosophical word; but it appears to be very much on the principle of the old game, "You lose, I win": good philosophy for the winner.”

SaidPhilosophyFoundGamesWinningLosesResultsPrinciplesCivilizationPhilosophicalWinnerIslandsDestructiveProductiveElsewhereColonialismCompensationSandwichesGood Philosophy
Author:Herman Melville
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“One Dad I know uses what I call Post-It® Note therapy on his children. He leaves sticky Post-It Notes everywhere ...in their lunch box, inside their shoes, on top of their sandwich before he wraps it up. He once went into his daughter's room, looking for his hammer, and on the back of her bedroom door were every Post-It Note he'd ever given her - over 250 in all with simple messages like 'Great job'...'I love you'...or 'You're special to me.' Do you think that girl knew, without a doubt, that her Dad valued her and loved her?”

ThinkingKnowsChildrenUseJobsGirlGivenSimpleRoomsDoubtDoorsSpecialLove YouDadMessagesDaughterNotesShoesBoxesPostsTherapyLunchBedroomHammersWrapsSandwichesGreat JobThat GirlStickySpecial To MePost It Notes
Author:Jack Canfield
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“There is an apocalyptic view to this that is actually kind of appealing, which is the only way to kill big government is to let it kill itself. It's suicide by gluttony. Right now, the government is approaching Fat Elvis during those years in the '70s right before he croaked on the toilet seat. Basically ObamaCare is a huge tray of bacon and banana sandwiches. And it could happen in our lifetimes.”

WayYearsKindBigsGovernmentHappensViewsHugeRight NowSuicideLifetimeFatsSeatsToiletsSandwichesObamacareBananasApocalypticBig GovernmentGluttonyTraysToilet Seat
Author:Greg Gutfeld
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“I ordered a club sandwich, but I'm not even a member. "I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread." "Well, so do I!" "Then let's form a club." "OK, but we need some more stipulations. Instead of cutting the sandwich once, let's cut it again. Yes, four triangles, arranged in a circle, and in the middle we will dump chips." "How do you feel about frilly toothpicks?" "I'm for 'em!" "Well, this club is formed."”

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Author:Mitch Hedberg
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“I was at a restaurant, and I ordered a chicken sandwich, but I don't think the waitress understood me. She asked me, "How would you like your eggs?" I thought I would answer her anyway and said, "Incubated! And then raised, plucked, beheaded, cut up, put onto a grill, and then put onto a bun. Damn! I don't have that much time! Scrambled!"”

ThinkingSaidHumorFunnyAnswersCuttingLike YouUnderstoodRaisedDamnRestaurantsEggsChickensSandwichesWaitressBuns
Author:Mitch Hedberg
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“My mother gave me a piece of bread, which was love and encouragement. The correction was the meat, the substance. And then she would sandwich that, sandwich that with another piece of bread, which was love and encouragement. That was very important in shaping and molding our morality, our understanding of ourselves, making sure that we didn’t think we were better than or less than anyone, feeling no more worthy or no less worthy than anyone else.”

ThinkingImportantFeelingsMotherUnderstandingPiecesMoralityEncouragementWorthyBreadSubstanceMeatSandwichesCorrectionsMolding
Author:Lauryn Hill
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“I'm sorry, was that homophobic? No--I think it was, 'cause I hear that a lot. Dave, What?, You're talking about being gay. You probably secretly are gay. And I'm like listen voice in my head, I'm not! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? I know I wouldn't like it, other scarier voice in my head! 'Cause one time while making a sandwich, a cucumber went up my ass. Three times.”

ThinkingKnowsHumorFunnyThreeCausesVoiceTalkingGaySorryAssDo You KnowOne TimeI'm SorryThree TimesSandwichesDaveBeing GayHomophobicCucumbersVoices In My Head
Author:Dave Attell
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