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Famous Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
“My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.”
“I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.”
“I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.”
“The sign on the bar said: 'girls- topless, bottomless', I went inside and there was nobody there!”
“Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!”
“What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.”
“Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!”
“They change the sheets every day... from one bed to another.”
“If I could have dinner with anyone who lived in history, it would depend on the restaurant.”
“To me, Viagra is the same as Disneyland. You wait an hour for a two-minute ride.”