Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
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Famous Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.”
“My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.”
“The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.”
“Steak and sex, my favorite pair. I get them both very rare.”
“I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.”
“Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“If every man was as true to his country as he was to his wife, we'd be in a lot of trouble.”
“When I was a kid I got no respect. My mother breast fed me through a straw.”
“When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.”
“I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.”
“With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“I'm tellin' ya I get no respect. When I was in Switzerland, I got an obscene yodel.”
“At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.”
“I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.”
“Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.”
“My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.”
“I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.”
“It's tough to stay married. My wife says no because she's tired then stays up and reads her book.”